


Galaxied Veins

by TheGoddessDivine



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Dominant Kylo Ren, Emperor Kylo Ren, F/F, F/M, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Backstory, Protective Rey (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-04-25 17:32:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14383572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGoddessDivine/pseuds/TheGoddessDivine
Summary: Kylo Ren does not easily forget. After all these years, he finally hunted you down. No one says no to the Knights of Ren. No one...





	1. Chapter 1

You felt the ships entering the atmosphere before you saw them. The weight of the metal beast made the air languid and thick with humming energy. The contrast was stark to the lightness of the lush greenery around you. Dropping the basket you were carrying, filled with necessities and fresh flowers from the market, you sprinted towards the monastery with your heart thumping in your ears.

_It couldn’t be. You had been so careful._

Is this what the world felt like when it was ending? The adrenaline coursing through your veins did not let you ponder the thought. Your sisters gave you worried looks as you pushed past them in the courtyard towards Mother’s chambers. You burst through the large oak door without knocking, earning displeased looks from the women inside who had been meditating. You ignored them and sought out a familiar pair of eyes.

“Mother, they are here.”

The words left your lips once you found her, filling the room with their finality and dread. Mother blinked a few times before standing steadily, a few sisters rushing over to help the ancient woman to her feet. Once at her full height, a few heads shorter than you, she nodded and spoke to the others.

“Prepare the sisters and daughters. We knew this day may come and, Goddess knows why, that day is today.”

The women began to dart around, the prayer bell almost immediately beginning to echo in the halls and along the monastery’s grounds. The ring was one of battle, not meditation. You turned to leave, but Mother beckoned towards you. You approached dutifully, sinking to your knees, and dipping your head towards your chin in respect.

“My daughter, we need you now more than ever. Protect your sisters and your Mother, you know what this means and what you must do.”

Mother’s face bore no fear, but you could see her slit nostrils flaring more than normal. Her dark eyes searched yours when she tipped your head up. Her thick talon was gentle under your chin as you nodded.

“It was only a matter of time,” you whispered, pausing for a moment. “I held onto the hope they would never find me.”

Your voice was sadder than you had intended it to be, but Mother only hummed softly.

“The Force makes you strong, my daughter, but not strong enough to hide from them. Grab your bag and stay in the forest until you can run. Go to the ship hidden away on the far side of meadow when the coast is clear.” She paused for a moment, choosing her words carefully. “Do you sense him?”

You flinched at the question, blood rushing to your cheeks. You hadn’t searched, purposefully of course, for that presence. But the Force had its own will.

“Y-yes, Mother.”

You dropped your head back down, too ashamed of your reaction at the simple question to look Mother in the eyes. She tsked and brought your head back up.

“Do not be ashamed. Time does not heal wounds, it merely thickens the scar. The Goddess will protect you, if you ask. She will grant you the wisdom to face all matters of beasts. Do not stray, my daughter.”

Mother took your hand in hers and smiled softly. You returned the gesture and kissed the top of her knuckles.

“I feel like the broken child that came to your doorstep all those years ago Mother. You took me in at hello without a second thought and gave me a home, a new purpose to serve the Goddess. Why do I feel like this is goodbye, forever?”

It was true. There was a tightness in your limbs that told you there were forces beyond your control at play. You would not be returning to your bed at the evening bell. You would not dine again with your sisters and Mother. You would not be at morning prayer or at afternoon meditation. You would not wander by the steam beneath the large green trees at sunset. You would not make the younger sisters giggle by sending small pebbles and stones flying around the room as if dancing a waltz.

No. You would not.

Mother smiled sadly this time and leaned to kiss your forehead.

“It is not our place to question the will of the Goddess. She gave you a blessing with the Force and the bountiful joys that come with that power. That gift also brings great sorrow. But you will never be alone, my daughter.”

A loud bang from the front of the monastery startled you both. You squeezed your eyes together as tears began to pool. You were finally happy, and you didn’t want it to end. It had taken you so long to find peace. But here, amongst the Mother and daughters of the Goddess, you had found home.

Women from the far stretches of the universe who had found community and refuge in each other built this temple. Its walls held a divine feminine energy of protection and serenity that had kept you safe the past ten years. It was the only home you cared about. Mother brought your wandering mind back to the present moment with a touch to your cheek.

“Goodbye, my daughter. You have served the Goddess well and will continue to do so wherever you go.” A single tear streaked down her face. “May the Force be with you.”

You smiled though you wept openly when you responded to her.

“May the Force be with you, always.”

                                                                                                                 ------    

Your bag always stayed packed, ready for whatever source of evil descended upon the planet. Moving along the shadows, you climbed the back wall of the monastery and climbed down the old vines. Scaling the smooth stones, you paused when you heard a collective scream from where your sisters were gathered. Ignoring every cell in your body screaming to run, you paused and listened for signs of distress. After a few moments of silence, you continued down the wall and onto the forest floor.

The midday sun trickled though the dense foliage when more screams pierced the air. You stopped in your tracks and listened, heart thumping in your ears. When the next set of screams echoed in the valley, your bag was left abandoned as you sprinted back towards the monastery wall. You scaled it easily and hoisted yourself to the rooftops, leaping with ease from one to another. You settled behind the lip of the bell tower and peered below.

Your sisters were huddled in a large semicircle around the courtyard. White armor clad First Order soldiers had their weapons pulled tight at their sides. A few officers in the black were pacing around and threatening the women. But your attention was immediately drawn to Mother, blood dripping into the dirt from her nose. You felt bile rise in your throat.

“I already told you, but I will say it again young man, there is no one here with that name. We are but sisters of the Goddess here at our monastery.”

The ginger haired man raised his hand and slapped Mother across the face. You bit your tongue to hold the snarl that threatened to escape your mouth. You gripped the stones of the bell tower tightly, knuckles pail under the tense skin. Eyes closed, you willed yourself to breathe steadily.

_Inhale. Exhale._

Another loud slap echoed in the courtyard.

_Inhale. Exhale._

Mother would not want you to give in. She told you to run.

“We know she is here,” the ginger haired man sneered, bending at the waist, towering over Mother. “Either lead us to her or –”

“General Hux!”

A synthesized voice made the soldiers snap to attention. General Hux’s upper lip twitched as he rose to his full height and turned to face the approaching figure.

Clad in the black robes of the Knights of Ren, a tall figure stalked towards the general with an angry and anxious prowess. Before his name was even uttered, your body reacted when the figure had first appeared in the courtyard’s entrance. His energy was unmistakable and raw. It called to you, awakening a long-denied hunger deep in your core. Your muscles tightened like a predator, making your mouth water. General Hux, however, was less than intimidated.

“Kylo Ren,” he sneered, “I thought you were instructed by the Supreme Leader to wait on the ship.”

Kylo ignored the man and slowly turned his masked head towards the direction of your hiding spot. You were not stupid, you know he felt you as strongly as you felt him. The second his ship had entered the atmosphere you knew he was on board. The Force fizzled and snapped hot between you both even at this distance. He spoke out to you, his voice emotionless through the mask though it carried far.

“If you come complicity, no one will be harmed. You have my word.”

Peering around the corner, you caught sight of a soldier in chrome armor tensing, looking as though they might speak a word of protest. General Hux just snorted.

“The girl isn’t here. I’ve been attempting to discover where she went -”

“How do I know you will keep your word? It means _very_ little to me,” your voice rang out, though you still hid behind the ancient stones. You were trembling despite yourself, though you felt no fear.

You heard a movement, a signal perhaps, and then the unmistakable sound of the soldiers marching away. Once the sounds were distant, you craned your neck to see the courtyard empty except for Kylo, Mother, and your sisters. Kylo looked tense, his fists clenched tightly to his side. He lifted his head towards your emerging figure.

“You have my word.” He repeated, the breathy noise sounding harsh and foreign from the mask.

Fully emerging from bell tower, you perched on the edge and called out to the monastery.

“Sisters, Mother, go inside and find peace. Goddess be with you.”

They did not need to be told twice. A few sisters rushed forward to help Mother. You longed to join them, but the few malicious glares told you your outcast status was back with a vengeance. No matter. You knew you would never return. This chapter of your life was over.

Leaping from the edge, you landed feetfirst on the hard ground beneath, using the Force to soften the impact onto your joints. Kylo’s face never left the direction of yours through the entire exchange. His fists stayed clenched, the tight leather smooth over his large hands.

“The First Order has not interest in this planet. No resources or fighters, just useless religious zealots.”

His tone was intentionally harsh, hissing from the metal. You wanted to crack the offending mockery off his face, split open his nose and watch his blood run. You opted for a more neutral reaction.

“You lost your chance to kill me all those years ago. Am I the one that got away? The one you lose precious sleep over, _Kylo Ren_?”

Mocking him was not the wisest decision, but the energy that was threatening to explode between the two of you was fuel to the flame. His right hand twitched slightly towards the saber on his belt. You glanced at it, eyebrow cocked, before looking back up towards where his eyes would have been beneath the mask. His response, however, shifted the earth beneath your feet and rearranged the battle field in a way you had not anticipated.

“ _Yes_.”


	2. Chapter 2

The word hung between the two of you, heavy and sultry. This was not the young man you remembered from your youth; the one who struggled to articulate himself when angry or sad, to meet your gaze when you were both alone, to keep his hands from roaming along your body during stolen moments in the dark.

The snide arrogance, however, remained and was evident even in his demeanor. You knew, however, that even beneath his mask it would only show in his eyes. He had caught you off guard and took every ounce of pleasure in making your brain process the unanticipated response. With either mercy or boredom, he broke the silence.

“I don’t have all day for you to mock me. We will return to my ship and leave at once.”

Without waiting for a response, Kylo turned and began to walk out of the courtyard. You hesitated only briefly before remembering the lives in the monastery behind you.

_Do it for them._

Without a glance back, you followed after Kylo towards the ship in the distance.

\------

It had been a long time since you had been in the dark vastness of space. You forgot its encroaching presence and the comfort such sensory deprivation brought. The ship you were in was small, followed by a few other similar ships carrying First Order soldiers.

The chrome armored soldier, Captain Phasma, was glaring at you through her helmet. You couldn’t blame her; she was likely confused why so much fuss had been made over a girl on a distant planet. So much time and so many resources wasted for what?

You could not help the smirk that pulled at the corner of your lips as you stared back with equal intensity. She would learn. They all would.

You purposefully refrained from speaking or asking any questions. Feigning boredom was the only leverage you had. Those around you were like beasts who fed off fear. You told yourself that you were not afraid of death or pain. What you were afraid of, however, stood at the front of the ship in a domineering posture.

Kylo barked short and curt orders occasionally to the pilots, not turning to look at you once since you left the courtyard and followed after him. He was enjoying knowing that you would do what he asked for now. But the second you were far away from the planet and your sisters…

“You will be meeting Supreme Leader Snoke. I highly suggest you behave and submit to his authority.”

Kylo’s voice disrupted your train of thought, though he did not turn to speak to you. You ignored him, choosing to roam your eyes around the ship instead of responding. In the corner of your eye, you saw his head glance briefly to the side in agitation at the display of disrespect.

The ship docked quickly and Kylo brushed past you without saying a word. Captain Phasma ushered with her weapon for you to follow, her shoulder tense. You obeyed and stepped down the ramp carefully. The other ships were docking as well, and General Hux stepped briskly towards you and Kylo.

“The Supreme Leader would like to see -”

“Yes, I am well aware General.”

You were amused by the dynamic between the two men who clearly disliked one another. Everyone was miserable on the ship without you having to lift a finger. General Hux kept in pace with Kylo Ren, glancing back to look at you with dismay.

“ _That’s_ what all the fuss has been about?” He eyes roamed up and down your body with a sneer.

“I see they are letting any idiot into the First Order now. Pity the standards have been dropped to such a _low_ threshold.” You quipped back, keeping your eyes locked on Kylo’s back as you were lead through the twisting of hallways.

“What did you just say to me you little bitch-“ the last syllable was cut off as General Hux was thrown into the wall to your right.

You paused and snorted a laugh in disbelief, turning to look at Kylo. He had not stopped walking as he rounded the corner, displaying no concern for what had just transpired. You jogged to catch up, amused as the General attempted to stand with a flustered snarl on his face. Kylo stepped into a lift that you barely entered before the door hissed shut. It was a short ride to your destination, the doors sliding open to reveal a type of gaudily decorated throne room.

Imperial guards stood around the semicircle, weapons sheathed in place. An ancient looking man with a lopsided face sat in the chair, a leering look tugged at his features. His voice reverberated around the room as Kylo kneeled before him.

“Kylo Ren, I am glad to see your mission was a success.”

Kylo responded with an emotionless tone as he rose to his feet to stand with hands clasped at his side. Snoke turned his head to speak to you.

“I have heard quite the stories from the Knights of Ren about you, girl. It is a pity you chose to run instead of joining them,” he dismissed the thought with a wave of his hand, “No matter, you will make up for it now.”

Your gut twisted, anger rising to the surface. You couldn’t help the words snarling out of your mouth.

“It didn’t run from anything except your _pet_ here.” your voice rang loud and angry through the echoing chamber.

Snoke leaned back some in the plush seat, his jaw clenched. Kylo energy was threatening to burn you, simmering and raw as he fought to maintain composure.

“I will let that outburst slide but speak like again and I show you what a true master of the Force can do.”

His warning did very little to dissuade as you lifted your Force shield tight around your being. They both sensed it, the power dynamic in the room shifting some as you opened your mouth to speak again.

“You are nothing but a manipulator and a liar, I have no respect for such-“

Piercing white pain shot through you as the Force shield was shattered without so much as a blink. A scream ripped from your throat as you collapsed to hard floor, muscles feeling as though they were ripping from your very bones. Tears streaked down your cheeks as all you could do was scream incoherently, the scalding pain tearing through you over, and over again. Your vision began to tunnel, the pain so severe it threatened to render you unconscious. Suddenly, blissfully, it stopped, leaving you sobbing and convulsing in a heap on the floor.

Never had you experienced such torture. The Force shield had done nothing to protect you from Snoke’s attack. He had penetrated it as if a mere piece of cloth separated you from control. Snoke’s cruel laugh echoed in your ears as he watched you struggle. Kylo hadn’t moved from where he stood behind you.

“Stupid girl. You will learn respect, or you will suffer every minute that you are here. You are strong with the Force, that much is certain. But you have much to learn.”

Limbs still quivering in protest, you pushed yourself onto hands and knees, struggling to regain your breath. You had no idea the Force could be used to inflict such pain and torment. Tears continued to silently streak down your face as you regained your composure. You attempted to stand, but sank back to your knees in a whimper, defeated. Whatever he had done to you was lingering in every cell of your being.

“You will train as an equal counterpart to Kylo Ren. You will give up this foolish neutrality and submerse yourself in the dark side. You _will_ be a master Knight of Ren, or you will suffer every day until your beating heart gives out. Do you understand?” Snoke’s voice was cruel and uncaring as he watched you finally struggle to your feet.

You did not hesitate by weighing your options, fear driving the words from your mouth.

“Y-yes, Supreme Leader,” your voice was suddenly small in the large room.

Snoke nodded and dismissed you both with a wave of his hand. You turned, unwilling to look anywhere near Kylo’s face as you waited for him to lead to back to the lift. Instead, he stepped behind you as began moving forward. The remnants of pain shooting through your legs nearly made you topple twice, Kylo’s hand flinching each time though never touching. Once inside, he selected a floor, looking straight ahead as the doors slid shut.

You slumped against the wall, wincing at the contact on your sore muscles. A sudden metallic hiss made you turn to see Kylo removing his helmet.

He looked a grown man now. His features fully grown into, eyes dark but concerned. His expression was a mix of anger and worry.

“Why didn’t you just listen to what I said? Why did you have to challenge him, I warned you.” he was seething, clenching his mask tight in his hand.

“How is it my fault that he nearly killed me? Are you fucking kidding me Ben? You’re the one who tracked me down instead of leaving me be!”

He looked murderous for a moment, stepping towards you quickly and clenching his jaw. You raised your head to meet his gaze, unyielding to him. His voice went dangerously low as his eyes bore into yours, trapping you in the small corner of the lift.

“ _Never call me that name again._ ”

Your felt tears springing to your eyes again, shame, hatred, and regret making your throat tight.

“Just take me somewhere to rest.”

You set your eyes on the door in front of you, refusing to meet his gaze. The doors finally hissed open and you stepped out, waiting for Kylo to lead the way.


	3. Chapter 3

Kylo took you down several hallways, twisting and turning until you were all but lost in your mind. After a few moments, you entered what you assumed were his private quarters. He set his mask down with a heavy thud once you were both inside. Your muscles ached by the time you reached a seat, and you collapsed down with a struggled groan. Staring at the ceiling, tears continued to fall silently down your face as you contemplated your options.

You had only two, really. You could either obey and train as a mater Knight of Ren, or you could die a slow and painful death. Breathing deeply, you closed your eyes.

Is this what your abandonment deserved? Was punishment long overdue for the selfish way you had turned your back on those you loved?

_We were just kids._

Young teens from the far stretches of the galaxy with too much power and too little self-control, forced to live and train together away from everything they knew. No one anticipated Master Skywalker turning on Ben in the end…

The memories came flooding back in an unrelenting wave. A blur of training, passion, and love swam before your eyes, bringing with them the emotions of the past. You missed them. You missed the comradery and the power. Though it had terrified you, both the light and dark intertwined and beckoned you with soft words and gentle caresses.

The Force felt as though it was calling you home. To them.  _To him._

Kylo had removed his cape and gloves, moving around the room in hushed movement while you stared at the ceiling. After a moment of contemplation, he walked over to block your view of the ceiling. As he looked down at you, eyes locking, he seemed momentarily uncertain of himself. The self-restraint was difficult for him, as it had always been. You were sad and tired, longing to be comforted.

Slowly, very slowly, Kylo sank to his knees in front of you, leveling your faces. You held each other’s eyes but made no movements. A thin scar stretched down the right side of his face, jagging along his cheek. His nostrils flared with each breath as he studied you intently. He broke the silence with a whispered confession.

“ _I’ve missed you_.”

You clenched your jaw, willing away the emotion threatening to overtake you to dissipate. But in a moment of sudden clarity, you knew you were fighting an already lost battle. The decade apart had amounted to pain and anguish beyond what you could have imagined. You attempted to bury it away and had done your best to adapt to life at the monastery. But you always knew deep down that you had made the wrong decision.

You wanted to be here, with him; his equal and companion. To share the pain and loneliness you overcame as children, holding each other through all those nights when it had been too much to bare. And now, here you were.

The Force had brought you both back together.

It had been easy for him to choose Snoke, to answer the call of the Knights of Ren. You had struggled to understand the need to choose one Master over the other. You were angry with him, so angry for leaving you unsure of what to do; to expect you to blindly follow him.

Hot rage suddenly surged to the surface of your contemplation, mixing with the desire and longing of ten years apart. Kylo’s eyes went dark as he watched your face change. You knew that words would be utterly insufficient to get through this moment, to process and tell one another what the distance and pain had meant. It was only through action that such things could be made known.

Leaning forward and curling your lip, you locked eyes and seethed your rage towards him. The Force again sizzled between the two of you, the energy overflowing and hot. He was waiting for permission, lips slightly parted as you stopped mere inches from his face. Relenting, you gave him the two little words he needed to break you both down to nothing.

“ _Fuck me_.”

His mouth covered yours without hesitation as he yanked you to your feet, tongue pushing past your lips to take what was his. You battled back, teeth pulling and biting at the warm intrusion. He tasted just as you remembered, distinct and overwhelming. Hands cupped down to your ass and he hoisted you up to wrap your legs around his waist as he kicked the chair aside. He slammed you into the wall, devouring your mouth and growling as you tugged harshly at his hair with both hands.

Grinding yourself against him, your anger and lust overflowed, consuming you both in smoldering flames. He tore at your top, ripping the fabric loudly before moving his mouth to attack your neck. Arching your back you moaned loudly for him, his teeth scraping along your collarbone, surely leaving his mark on the soft flesh. Mouth never leaving your skin, he carried you to the bed and threw you down roughly as he removed his shirt.

Before you could shift to establish control, he anticipated the move and tore the rest of your shirt with both hands, exposing you fully to attack with his mouth.

“Kylo,  _fuck_!” you hissed at the contact of teeth on your bare breasts.

You were animals, sweating and panting in your shameless desire; the unspoken need fueling the flame overtaking you both. He bit and sucked roughly at your nipples, bringing the soft buds to hardened peaks with his tongue. He moved from one to the other, the cool air from the wetness of his mouth keeping them hard.

With both hands tangled in his hair, you yanked his face up to claim his mouth once again. You pulled him on top of your body, shivering at the contact of your bare chests together. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you pulled him close enough to grind on his erection, eliciting a groan from deep in his chest. But it wasn’t enough.

Kylo broke the kiss only long enough to growl and remove the rest of the ripped fabric that barely clung to your body. Throwing it aside, you pushed him up roughly so that he was standing at the edge of the bed. Hands hastily pulled down his pants as he kicked off his boots, allowing you to take control for the moment. Kissing his torso, you looked up at him before sinking your teeth into his side in rhythm with stroking his cock. He cussed loudly and pulled you up to him, teeth and tongues clashing again as he held your bodies close and moved you to the center of the bed.

Your arousal was all-consuming, your core burning with the desire you had denied for too long. Moving down to stroke him, you ran your thumb over the tip of his thick member, collecting the precum that beaded there to slick him. Biting your lower lip between his teeth, he groaned crudely before snatching both your wrists and pinning them above your head.

“ _Don’t you dare move you arms_ ,” he whispered into your mouth, leaving your hands to twist into the pillows above your head as he kissed and bit his way down your body.

He went painfully slow, swirling his tongue across the jut of one hipbone, then the other. Slinging both of your legs over his shoulders, he bit your inner thighs while raking his fingers down your waist. His hot breath on your exposed cunt, he brought down one hand to part your lips. Flattening his tongue, he licked your entire sex in one stripe, causing you to buck towards his mouth and gasp his name. He hummed in appreciation as he began to devour you.

“You taste as delicious as I remember,” his eyes locked on yours as he spoke before dipping back down to suck on your swollen clit.

The eye contact made you blush a deep scarlet, normally having fucked him in the quiet dark of one of your rooms as teenagers. But here, the room was lit by the stars outside the window, giving you a grand show of his movements. Pursing his lips, he sucked on your clit in rhythmic patterns, allowing you to ride his face as he did so. You threw your head back and praised him, moaning his name over, and over again.

Bringing a hand down, though his mouth kept its pace, he slipped one, then two of his long fingers into your tight heat. You were bucking shamelessly, muttering nonsense as the warmth of your orgasm began to build. He curled his fingers to rub the textured spot of your inner wall, pushing you dangerously close to the edge.

“Kylo,  _fuck_ , I’m going to cum,” you weren’t sure why warned him, and you immediately regretted it after the words left your mouth.

Pulling away, Kylo sat back up and stared you down, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand as you growled in anger. Then, so very slowly, knowing just how to taunt you, he began to suck each of his fingers coated with your arousal, one by one. Before you could sit up to retaliate, he grabbed your hips and yanked towards him, bending down to capture your mouth with his. He tasted musky and heavy, mouth coated in your wetness, but it only served to further your desire.

You sucked on his tongue, reaching your hand to slick it between your inner-folds before grasping his cock. He grunted into your mouth as you picked up a steady a rhythm, his fingernails digging crescent moons into your hips. Pulling your face back slightly, you looked up at his face, enjoying the sight of his heavy-lidded eyes and parted lips. You couldn’t help but mock him, anger and lust swirling inside you.

“Is this what you’ve thought about every time you’ve fucked your own hand, wishing it were me? You’re not going to cum already, are you _Kylo_?”

“I’m not a fucking teenager anymore,” he growled, “I’ll show you  _exactly_  what I’ve thought about.”

Using his large hands rather roughly, he gripped your hips and flipped you onto your stomach. Knowing just what he wanted, you raised your ass in the air and ground against his erection eagerly. Stroking himself a few more times, he ran the fat head of his cock from your clit to your soaking entrance before slowly pushing himself in with a groan.

It hurt at first, there was no denying that. But the pain mixed with the delicious way he filled and stretched you made you sigh and shudder. He went slowly to begin, allowing you time to adjust to his girth as he moved in and out. He leaned down to kiss and bite at your neck, reaching his hand around to rub your clit.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly in your ear, though he was clearly restraining himself from sinking fully into you.

You nodded and pushed your hips back to take more of him inside you, both of you hissing and panting as a rhythm was set. Soon it was rough and savage, the obscene sound of slapping flesh filling the room as he fucked you. You couldn’t help the string of praises that fell from your mouth, and he offered the same in tandem.

Pulling you up by your elbows, he leaned back so that you could ride him at a different angle. It was deliciously sharp, allowing him to hit that inner spot over, and over again. Your orgasm was fast approaching, and you knew he was near the edge as well from the neediness of his grunts. He wrapped his arm around your waist, and you turned your head to stare at him as you rode his cock faster.

Eyes locked, sweat glistening from both of your bodies, your orgasms teetering on the edge, you confessed to him with a pleasure filled sob what you couldn’t deny.

“I’ve missed you too,  _so much_. I’m yours, and you’re mine.  _Always_.”

The last word was a growl before you kissed him hard, your hand reaching down to rub at your swollen clit. A few more pumps and he was cumming loudly, biting your neck as he shot ropes of warm cum deep into you. You followed soon after, the warmth of your orgasm spreading like fire from your core to the rest of your body. You screamed his name as you rode out each delicious wave after the other, vaguely aware that he had laid you back down on the bed and continued to thrust into you for the rest of your orgasm.

After a moment he collapsed on top of you, though he propped himself up some on his forearms, still buried completely inside of you. You were both breathing heavy, covered in the slickness and sweat of one another. You shuttered as he pulled himself out of you, his cum leaking slowly down your thigh. But you didn’t care. Nothing mattered in that moment except that he was pulling you into his arms, his forehead pressed to yours.

Eyes closed, you both stayed like that for a moment, enjoying the post-orgasmic bliss. He tilted your chin up gently, lowering his mouth to kiss you softly. It was tender and sweet, and you returned it with equal passion. It was the only apology either of you were going to get from the other.

But it was enough.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

The steady breathing of the body next to you had you transfixed. You had always been early to rise, while Ben tended to sleep the day away. It was nice to see things hadn’t changed.

His chest rose and fell with each breath, his features soft and at ease while he was deep in slumber. These intimate moments allowed you to study him closely without his grumbling or agitation. He never liked the feeling of eyes roaming his face. Though it had seemed after the past few days of passionate sex and honest confessions, he would make an exception for you.

The two of you had barely emerged from his quarters except to eat. You both showered in his private quarters and had defiled nearly every surface of the small space. He explained that his room was smaller on the Supremacy since it was Supreme Leader Snoke’s flagship. He assured you that when you both were dismissed back to the Finalizer, there would be plenty more room for your…activities.

Kylo would leave for brief stints of time to ensure things were running smoothly, but he would quickly return and makeup the time he had been away from your body. The reconnection between the two of you had filled you in ways you didn’t know were empty. The emotional weight of being parted from him for all those years was lifted off your shoulders, and you felt more attuned to the universe around you.

You had been concerned when you moaned Kylo’s birth name during one of the many times he was buried between your legs. He couldn’t get enough of your taste and ate you like a starved man. ‘ _Ben’_ had too easily slipped from between your lips like a prayer, the familiarity of your youthful experience taking over your hazy brain. He had paused only momentarily to look up at you, his face hungry and flushed.

“Only when we are alone,” he whispered in acceptance before kissing your inner thigh tenderly and covering your sex with his hot mouth.

In the moments of post-orgasmic bliss, tangled in the sheets and limbs of one another, you would talk without restraint. You mostly talked about the past; the hurt and torment that was leftover from the temple. Having lived through such a test with one another prohibited the presence of walls between your words. The pain was laid bare between your nude bodies for the other to see. You both spoke with anger and passion, regret and fear, but also with hope and freedom.

 _Freedom_.

That was what you felt the most. You felt free from constraint or persecution. Although no apologies had been uttered from either of your lips, you both knew the past was dead. You had hate fucked it away until there was nothing left to say about it. The Force now flowed between you two like a gentle stream instead of the crashing waterfall that had threatened to drown you both.

Moving quietly as not to wake him, you walked to the refresher to wash your face. A service droid had brought fresh sets of clothes a few days earlier and set them alongside Kylo’s. There would be no question about where you would be staying.

Pulling on the black training uniform, you paused briefly to look in the mirror. Skin erupting in goosebumps, you were reminded of your training robes back at the temple. This black fabric, however, was much tighter and stretched to accommodate your figure, unlike the stiff material of the student robes. The formality of it was what made you pause, stomach lurching. You pulled back your hair in defiance of yourself and pulled yourself together. This time, it would be different.

As you walked back into the bedroom you reached out to Kylo through the Force, finding his subconscious still deep in sleep. Smiling, you left without disturbing him and went to get something to eat.

* * *

 

Perhaps you should have been embarrassed that it was common knowledge that you and Kylo Ren had been shut away, rutting like animals in his quarters. But as you passed various officers and stormtroopers, you were saluted as a superior without so much as a snicker. Their opinions meant very little to you, though you were glad the hierarchy seemed to have settled without issue.

Turning down a hallway, you passed by an open door that lead to a large training room. A soft whisper came from the doorway as you walked by. Pausing, you took a few steps back to the entrance. Peering inside, you saw no one, and turned to leave. But again, you heard your name whispered in a voice that made the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

Walking fully into the room with hands clasped behind your back, you examined the unlit space with careful eyes. The room had a curve to it that matched the floor to ceiling window looking out into the vastness of space. The stars outside gave the room just enough light to provide shape to the objects within. There were various sparring weapons on the wall, including armor and shields. Cushioned mats and metallic obstacles were pushed up against the wall, leaving the floor of the arena open.

The whisper came again as you spun on your heel, brows furrowed. The lesson from your childhood came to the forefront of your mind as you walked to the center of the room and sat on the floor.

_What is unseen to the eye could be unveiled by the Force._

You assumed the position for meditation and closed your eyes, breathing in and out. The Force was humming softly along your skin and in the air around you. It danced and flowed around in a gentle ebb, unprovoked and unconcerned. You opened yourself up, beckoning it closer to guide your thoughts. Pulling you deeper into itself, the Force complied. You were submerged after a few moments, and you allowed yourself to be pulled into darker and deeper recesses of its entirety.

The whisper did not return. The Force was flowing through you in ways you had never felt it do so. It felt more vibrant and tangible as your consciousness left the room and your body behind. The Force pulled you deeper and deeper, further away than you had ever been from yourself. An energetic roaring began to rumble around you, reverberating deep in your chest. Indiscernible at first, the noise increased as the blackness swirled into vibrant color and motion. The cheers became deafening as you observed the scene unfold before you.

Thousands of people were turned towards a shimmering temple. The largest temple you had ever seen, glinting with gold and gems and flowing waterfalls. The air smelt thick with the smoke of sage and other burnt offerings. It was happy and peaceful, so joyous that it made your eyes brim with tears. Hearts, all overflowing with serenity, were beating as one. The noise rose even further to the heavens as two figures emerged on the balcony of the temple.

Dressed in ceremonial fabrics, the two deities raised their clasped hands in union to the joy of the people below. Everyone wept holy tears and drank honied wine in celebration. The suns and moons shared the sky and blessed those below. You kept craning your neck along with the crowd to catch a glimpse of the new gods. You wanted to share with them in this moment, to offer what you could. The sunlight was blocking a proper view, though you kept trying to look and see as you danced forward with the bodies around you. You were so close, if they just turned their heads…

Two hands on your shoulders pulled you up and out of the light. They drug your consciousness through the dark in which you had ventured until you were solidified back into your vessel. Eyes snapping open you sucked in a gasp of air, your vision was blurred by the tears streaming down your cheeks. A familiar face stared back at you, her eyes filled with contempt.

“You’re in the way of training, _aruetii_ ,” Jhila glared at you as she stood back up to her full height. Looking around her, you saw the five other familiar faces of your temple classmates.

But they were no longer children; they were Knights of Ren.


	5. Chapter 5

**_10 Years Ago_ **

Ben bit at your neck and laughed against your skin, shushing you as best he could.

“You’re going to wake up the whole temple with your moaning, keep it down.”

Your training robes were pushed up, his hand buried beneath the waistband of your undergarments. His long fingers were curled inside of you while his thumb rubbed circles over your stiff clit. You panted against his lips and moaned again, his mouth quickly covering yours to swallow the noise.

Master Skywalker would be furious if he saw the two of you writhing against one another. He already had his suspicions and had made it a point to forbid any sort of “shenanigans.” But he was a busy man running an entire training temple with more than a dozen students. He could not always make sure you both were behaving, regardless of the fact that Ben was his nephew.

“B-Ben, I’m gonna – _fuck_!” Your whisper cut off as your hips involuntarily bucked, your orgasm crashing over you in waves. Your walls clamped down on Ben’s fingers and he smirked in appreciation and pride. He loved making you come undone, and he had gotten quite good with all the “late night training sessions” you were having together.

You pulled his head close as you came down from your high, kissing him gently and pulling at bottom lip with your teeth. He pulled his hand out from between your legs and wiped it on the sheets before pulling you up to straddle him. He was still recovering from the attention you had given him, his cock soft between your legs. You smiled and considered rocking against him to see how quickly he could recover…

“I need to get going, we have to get up early for meditation tomorrow.” Ben’s deep voice interrupted your train of thought.

“Can’t you just sleep here? No one would know,” you peppered his face with kisses to try and persuade him.

You wished you could just hold one another instead of sneaking back to your respective huts. Ben shook his head, and you begrudgingly knew he was right.

“I’ll see you in the morning though, okay? And don’t try and distract me this time during meditation. Enos couldn’t stop laughing and you got us both in trouble.” He attacked your neck playfully, causing you to laugh into his hair as you wriggled around.

“Alright, alright, _fine_. But in my defense, Enos definitely deserved having to clean out the kitchen. Though I do regret getting you in trouble.”

Ben rolled his eyes and set you down on your bed before standing to adjust his robes. He peeked outside your door to make sure the coast was clear before leaning back to the bed to give you a chaste kiss. He whispered goodnight and then ducked out of the door into the night.

You leaned back momentarily and smiled to yourself. You would have to find Jhila in the morning to gossip with her before morning meditation. Disrobing quickly, you put on your sleepwear and climbed into bed, too distracted to notice the Force churning around you restlessly.

Hours later, when the dew was still settling on the vegetation outside, a loud noise rouse you from your sleep. Rolling back over, you cursed Sumi for their insomnia and high level of energy. Whatever stupid they were doing now was going to piss off Master Skywalker and get you all in trouble. Thankfully, sleep soon reclaimed you again and you were softly snoring in no time.

Before you slipped past the thin gossamer of your deepest sleep, your door burst open. More instinct than conscious action, you reached out through the Force and ignited your saber, teeth bared at the intruder. Ben’s seething rage and screams of anger alerted you to his presence before your eyes adjusted.

“ _I fucking knew it_! Snoke warned me about this! He _KNEW_ Skywalker would turn on me!” Ben screamed as he paced. “He is jealous of my power and strength in the force! We need a new master," he gritted his teeth before he settled his eyes on you. "Get up, we are leaving. The others are gathering in the sparing room.”

He ducked out of your hut before you could speak. You clambered out of bed, un-igniting your saber and leaving it on the bed as you stood, running after Ben. You could hear worried voices coming from the temple as you caught up with him, the two of you entering the large space.

“Ben, what’s going on? What happened?” you tried to get him to turn and face you, but he moved to stand at the front and speak to the others.

“Where is Master Skywalker?” the Twi’lek girl demanded, her arms crossed over her chest.

A chorus of agreement rang out as some of your fellow students nodded and looked around at one another. Rek Jor’s anger filled voice filled the room.

“He tried to kill Ben in his sleep you kriffing idiots! Ben was lucky to escape with his life!”

Gasps and disbelief riddled murmurs passed between bodies. You made eye contact with Zhorin, her dark eyes unreadable.

“It’s true!” Ben yelled, his large hand angrily pointing past you all. “I awoke to his saber hovering over me about to strike! I collapsed my hut and ran wake you all. We have an important decision to make, and quickly.”

Ben paused momentarily, looking around at the faces of the other dozen or so students.

“There is another master who can teach us the ways of the Force. He is strong and powerful, promising us all that same opportunity. He has come to me though the Force, instructing me on what to do if Master Skywalker were to turn on me. Snoke warned me that Luke would become jealous of my power,” his eyes fell on yours, “ _All_ of our power.”

“So, what the _kriff_ are you suggesting? That we just up and leave? And go where?” Siro barked at Ben, his hands raised in agitation.

Ben’s lipped curled, anger rolling off him in waves.

“Have you not been listening? We have a new master waiting for us. He told me where to take us –“

“And what, we are just supposed to believe you? Because you’re Master Skywalker’s nephew? Maybe we should trust his judgment of you.” Siro glared at Ben, fists clenched at his side.

The power struggle between the two teenage boys was coming to a head. Siro had been waiting for this chance for years. You narrowed your eyes at his foolish remark before speaking up.

“I know we all are disheartened to hear of Mast – Luke’s betrayal,” you corrected yourself, realizing he was no longer your Master, “but turning on one another is not the way to solve this. We cannot follow Luke’s lead and destroy what we have worked so hard to create here. We are all strong and capable, let’s not throw that away because our teacher failed us.”

You walked over and stood by Ben, your body language definitive and concrete. Siro’s brows drew sharp along his face, his eyes moving from yours to Ben’s.

“Did you kill him?” he asked Ben after a moment.

The question hung in the air, everyone’s breath seeming to still in their chests. Ben answered without regret.

“He tried to kill me. I collapsed the hut and escaped, it was all I could do to survive.”

Siro’s saber ignited, being one of the few students having advanced far enough to make a lightsaber. Everyone else froze, suddenly unsure of what to do.

“ _Murderer_.” Siro hissed.

Before anyone else could react, you stepped in front of Ben and put your hand up. In the peripheral of your eye, you saw the room beginning to form shape. Half of the students were uncomfortably shifting towards Siro, standing behind him in unsure hesitation. The other half were moving towards you and Ben, their movements more sure and decisive. Jhila stood next to you, her presence and solidarity giving you strength.

“Siro, don’t do this. There is no need to turn to violence. We can discuss what everyone wants to do and go from there. Those who do not want to follow us don’t have to.”

You felt Ben shift behind you, and you willed him to stay silent. Siro’s eyes were looking past you to stare at Ben, his face twisted in rage.

“I will not let _traitors_ walk free.”

And with that, he lunged.

Ben pulled you back with the Force as he ignited his weapon, blocking you from harms way as his saber clashed with Siro’s. The hiss of the two weapons reverberated loudly in your chest as Siro’s eyes realized the gravity of his mistake in lunging for _you_. Ben was losing himself in his rage, the events of the evening becoming too much to bear.

“The only traitor, Siro, is _you_. Snoke wouldn’t want such a pathetic student, and I will make sure I won’t deliver such weaklings.”

The students behind Siro began to panic, grabbing at whatever weapons were around them in defense. Those behind you acted in the same way, Enos being the only other student to have made his saber besides you, Ben, and Siro.

“We don’t have to do this!” you tried to push your way towards the two boys, but Ben Force-knocked you back down with his free hand. He spoke without looking at you.

“Yes. We do.”

* * *

 

Black smoke billowed from the top of the burning temple. Flames licked at the sky, trying to escape the horror and blood that burned within. None of you took the time to grab anything before running onto the ship and pulling away into the sky. With a sudden drop of your stomach, you realized you had forgotten your lightsaber in your room. A stupid decision.

“Snoke will teach you to construct a better one,” Ben assured you, leaning down to lift your chin to meet his gaze after sensing your anxiety.

Instinct took over and you went to move from his touch, but you remembered there was no need to hide anymore. But a different hesitation settled deep in your gut.

Ben had dried blood splattered across his face and clothes, though he was uninjured. He felt different as you reached out through the Force, seeking to soothe his anger and hurt. The amount and ferocity of which you found was overwhelming, and you pulled back immediately. Ben’s brows knit together.

“What’s wrong?”

“Ben, we-we didn’t have to do that. They should have had more time to choose. Siro didn’t speak for all of them.” You moved to push a strand of hair from Ben’s face.

“Oh gross, you two aren’t going to be like this all the time, are you?” Sumi’s face pulled up into mock disgust as they pretended to barf.

“Master Snoke does not like such foolery, Sumi. I suggest you get it out of your system now.” Ben’s dark tone let you all know exactly what he meant.

Kuar’s voice came from the front of the ship where he sat in the captain’s seat. He was the only one besides Ben with any sort of piloting experience.

“Ben, where do you want me to stop to get provisions and fuel? We won’t be able to make it the full way without stopping. This piece of junk is old.” Ben left to go speak with Kuar, though not before shooting you a worried look.

Once he was gone, you looked around at those of you left.

Sumi was sitting in the corner, fiddling with the torn fabric of their robe. Their sepia hair was disarrayed from the fighting and sticking up in a thousand different directions, though they didn’t seem to mind. Their freckled spotted nose and thick brows were scrunched up in concentration as they worked to mend their clothes.

Enos sat near them and was cleaning his saber from the fight, the normally shimmering metal stained dark crimson. His narrow eyes met yours as he caught you watching, but they showed his boredom and lack of concern with your attention. The large muscles of his arms worked to scrub his lightsaber, rippling beneath the tight skin. His smooth, niveous face didn’t hint that he had even broken a sweat during the ordeal.

Kuar was speaking quickly with Ben, trying to settle on a planet to refuel at. His full lips moved rapidly as he pulled up the star chart, pushing his jet-black hair from his face. Normally a quiet observer, he had struck down the most of their classmates without so much as hesitating. You could feel the pride oozing off him as he steered the ship. But the sheen of nervous sweat on the back of his neck told a different story.

Zhorin was near the window looking out at the passing stars as she half listened to Ben and Kuar, occasionally offering planets for the required pit stop. The starlight shimmered along her deep onyx complexion, giving her a goddess-like glow. You were reminded of the night she had told you about the gods and goddesses of her home planet. She had recited their stories as you helped her plant seeds and cleanse the soil with menstrual blood for the new season.

The memory was interrupted as Jhila slid next to you, her regal face looking less than pleased.

“What’s going on, _burc'ya_?” she asked, her voice thick with accusation.

“We just left the only home most of us have ever known after Luke tried to murder Ben. What do you mean what’s going on?”

Jhila narrowed her eyes at you, the pale green shimmering in agitation.

“I’m not an idiot, I can feel the conflict in you. I know Ben does too. No one wanted that to happen, but Siro and the others gave us no choice.”

You looked away in frustration, eyes settling on Rek Jor as he tinkered with the defect droid that had been stowed away. His greasy hair was flat against his skull as his long fingers worked deftly.

“We always have a choice.” You replied after a moment, still refusing to meet her gaze.

Ben came back before she could respond.

“Listen up. We are going to stop at Takodana. Don’t speak to anyone more than necessary. Just get what we need then get back on the ship.” He paused for a moment, shifting his weight. “I won’t be joining, Maz Kanata knows my face.”

None of you were stupid enough to ask why. You all had heard about Han Solo and his glory days. Half the ports in the universe had been visited by him.

The ship entered the atmosphere and settled smoothly near a castle-like building. Everyone grabbed what few credits they had and began to depart. Ben grabbed your arm, holding you back until you were both alone in the back of the dingy ship.

“What’s going on with you?” his face was concerned and more relaxed with the others gone, though a burning rage still simmered behind his eyes.

“You know, I wish everyone would stop fucking asking me that. I just watched my classmates kill one another.”

“They were going to kill us, what would have had us do? Negotiate?” Ben snapped at you, his voice starting to rise.

“I would have given the others a chance to speak for themselves. Siro didn’t speak for them all Ben!”

“They drew their weapons! They attacked _us_!”

“Us versus them, that’s always what it is. I’m fucking sick of it. Luke taught us the same shit and I hated it. The dark and the light and all that SHIT!” the last word came out a scream, the ship giving a metallic groan as the Force ebbed from you.

Ben stayed silent for a moment, both of you breathing heavy.

“Is this new master going to be just a different version of what we went through Ben? Why didn’t you tell me about Snoke?” you turned to face him, eyes meeting his.

“No, it won’t be. I promise. It will be different. We won’t have to hide or follow stupid Jedi code. None of that,” He sounded convincing, though the pit in your stomach tightened. “I didn’t tell you because I was weak. I was worried you would think I was losing my mind. But I was wrong, I see that now. You’re all I have.”

His eyes searched yours as though he was reaching out to anchor himself to the only thing constant in his life. Beneath the rage and anger was something you had always felt in him; fear. And right now, he was fearful of losing you.

In that moment, your heart began to break. You knew you couldn’t go with them to Snoke. He would just be another master full of thin promises and a manipulative creed. The light and the dark were both too cruel of teachers for your liking. You would have to leave, though you knew it would kill you both. You swallowed the lump in your throat before speaking.

“I’m going to go get stuff with the others. The sooner we get that done, the sooner we can get going.”

Ben looked at you intently, trying to read your expression. You did your best to give nothing away. After a moment he nodded, stepping forward some.

“I’ll see you soon then.” Leaning down, he kissed you sweetly.

It took all your strength to not break down and beg him to abandon this foolish plan. To abandon everyone else; your classmates, the new master, the whole fucking universe.

You kissed him back, savoring the taste of him on your tongue before breaking away. You offered a small smile and walked towards the makeshift castle.

You avoided the other six once inside. It didn’t take as long as you thought it would to find a smuggler who was willing to take you away for the meager amount of credits you had. You needed to move quick before Ben and the others started to look for you. Your quivering lip and shining eyes seemed to make the smuggler take pity on you. She told you she knew just the place for a lost girl like you. Your fabricated backstory was nowhere near the truth, but the hurt was just the same.

She took you out back to her ship, taking off in just a matter of minutes. Thankfully, she didn’t say anything as you cried softly in your seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello wonderful readers! I hope you are enjoying reading this story as much as I am enjoying writing it.  
> Here are the links to my tumblr and pinterest where you can find some more content pertaining to the story :)
> 
> https://jedi-goddess-temple.tumblr.com/ 
> 
> https://www.pinterest.com/thegoddessdivine/galaxied-veins/


	6. Chapter 6

“You’re in the way of training, _aruetii_ ,” Jhila glared at you as she stood back up to her full height. You suddenly felt very small beneath her as she looked down at you with a foreign gaze. Looking around, you saw the five familiar faces of your other temple classmates. They were all grown now, looking like true adults force wielders.

You cleared your throat, pushing away the feelings bubbling to the surface.

“I was meditating.”

Jhila snorted and walked away, gathering her sparing equipment like the others.

“Skywalker would be _so_ proud.”

No one looked or spoke to you as you moved out of their way.

Awkwardness hung heavy in the air. You thought of what to say to them all; your friends and classmates from what felt like a lifetime ago. You were the one who had left without explanation, abandoning those who needed you. Suddenly, the thought occurred to you that they were the ones who had dealt with Ben after your absence was realized…

“I don’t think words of apology mean anything to any of us,” your voice was much stronger than you felt, “but for what it is worth, I was just a kid. We all were. I know I made the wrong decision, I see that now. And now I am here whether we all like it or not.”

No one responded or looked towards you, they merely continued about their business as if you weren’t there. You nodded to yourself in acceptance of the situation and walked towards the door, warm tears blurring your vision.

* * *

 

No longer having much of an appetite, you wandered back to Kylo’s quarters quickly. Agitation and anger swirled in your chest, catching you off guard at their intensity. But like a small flame, the more you breathed and fueled the rage, the larger the flame grew.

Once inside Kylo’s room, you found him still tangled in the sheets. He was reading a data pad intently before raising it some to look at you. He looked well rested and satiated.

“Where have you been?” Despite the honest inquiry on his part, the anger suddenly rose from your chest to sour your mouth.

“They all fucking hate me Ben. I don’t know how to process that.”

You leaned both hands against the work table, gripping the metal tightly until your knuckles where white.

“Who?”

You shot him a nasty look, your muscles suddenly tight and uncomfortable. The room felt too small.

“ _Who the fuck do you think_?”

Ben studied you carefully, no doubt assessing the way the Force was radiating off you like heat from coals. You pushed away the table and paced around the room, rambling furiously to you both as you rolled through your thoughts one by one.

“I don’t owe them a damn thing, I don’t owe anyone anything! I am here for you and only you. What the fuck did they expect?”

Ben only nodded, setting the data pad down as he shifted to sit up.

“No one wanted this to happen, I didn’t ask to be found but you did and now I am here and I…I’m just–“

Words were failing you as the anger continued to build. Talking wasn’t doing jack-shit to help. Like a maddening crescendo, the energy within you felt suffocating and heavy. You reared back your leg and swung it hard into to the chair nearest you with a scream. It shot into the wall loudly and cracked, the metal groaning at the impact. Your breath was heavy as you continued to pace.

Ben stood abruptly, confusion and caution etched across his face.

“Are you mad at _me_?”

You growled in frustration.

“This isn’t _about_ you Ben! It’s not about anyone else except me–“

An insistent beeping sound drew both of your attentions to the data pad. Kylo looked at it briefly before moving to dress.

“The Supreme Leader has summoned us both.”

“Great, just great. Perfect timing.” You snarled at Kylo, as if the situation were somehow his fault. You didn’t care if it was or not.

He ignored you as he dressed quickly, beckoning you to follow him once he finished. You defiantly stood with arms were crossed tightly over your chest, the storm within you still rolling and roaring.

“And if I don’t go?” you challenged, wanting him desperately to react what you were feeling. You knew he felt it pouring off you. You wanted, no, _needed_ him to join in that anger with you. It was hot and heavy and all consuming. Kylo stopped, his fists clenching into balls at his side.

“Would you for just _one_ fucking second just do what I say? Or did you forget your last meeting with the Supreme Leader?”

The darkness deep inside your core barred its teeth in anticipation at Kylo’s rising temper. It circled within you and snapped its tense jaw.

Shoving past him, you stalked down the hall towards the elevator, Kylo fast on your heels.

* * *

 

“Lover’s quarrel, I presume?”

Snoke’s smirk and mocking tone made you want to unhinge his jaw.

As you stood in the crimson throne room before him, you couldn’t stop shifting from foot to foot, despite Kylo’s collected manner next to you. You shouldn’t have been concerned if Kylo was so calm. But if anything, his lack of movement was pissing you off even more. Your breathing had done nothing but quickened, nostrils flaring with each breath. Your fists were balled tightly and your nails dug into the soft flesh of your palms.

“No matter, I am sure you will sort it out. Old wounds still fester…” Snoke held your gaze as his smile widened. You again pondered ripping his jaw out of his skull for the audacity to mock you.

“I have a task for you both. Some prisoners have proved to be…less than useful.”

With a snap of his fingers, his Praetorian guards walked into the large room and dragged forward two gagged and bound prisoners. They looked exhausted and filthy, though their eyes still held an unbroken spirit. Head to toe they were dressed in what looked like miner garb from a primitive planet. The stench of cell ridden beings filled the air.

“Interrogations have been futile.” Snoke sighed heavily as he motioned to the two prisoners. He slowly lifted his gaze to you, a coy smile tugging at his crooked mouth. “However, I am interested to see what our newcomer can–“

Your hand immediately shot out as if your muscles were begging to find relief, the Force swelling and crashing over the two bodies at once. Their bodies spasmed as they were hoisted to their knees, backs arched in pain. You domineered forward, stalking them like a starved wolf as you unhinged their minds and spirits. You pushed the Force through their open mouths and nostrils, gagging them with your power. Despite their exhaustion, you were met with walls and barriers; they were strong willed, indeed.

But in your ferocious anger, you were stronger.

They screamed and writhed as you tore through their defenses and took what you wanted, forgoing all gentleness as you ripped apart their memories and cerebellum. Their spirits began to crack, weeping for mercy as you continued your assault, deaf to their pleas.

Scenes of their lives flashed before your eyes. The maze of their consciousness was laid out like a map for your reading. Diving deeper and deeper you found yourself looming over them, hand stretched wide. Your fingers flexed and cracked as you screamed with them, your anger suffocating all three of you in its smoldering grasp.

Finally, they collapsed; empty vessels with the very life force torn out of them.

Your voice was alien to your ears as you spoke rapidly, a sultry growl filling the throne room. Your vision was blurry, though you did not know why, but you cared little. Your mouth could barely keep up as the words poured from your lips like an incantation.

“The item you seek is on a planet called Panthea, near an island made of glass. The priests are no longer there, having fled to a distant temple on one of their moons. They are low on food and medical supplies, desperate for help…”

You continued to rattle off information to Snoke, and although your vision was obscured, you made out his shape as he slowly rose and walked down the steps towards you, nudging the bodies aside with his foot. His hands were clasped behind his back, form rigid. As you finished speaking, your chest heaved from the residual animosity coursing through your veins. Snoke’s face was unreadable when he was finally close enough for you to see the lines of his profile.

He reached out a large, deformed hand and wiped his thumb beneath your eye. You did your best not to recoil in disgust at his touch. When his finger came back crimson, he spoke with a loud fascination.

“The Ancients would weep their enemy’s blood when utilizing the dark side of the Force to such a powerful extent. In all my years…I have never seen such a display.” He looked down at you before cupping your face and wiping the rest of the blood on your cheeks away with both thumbs, sucking them clean afterwards.

“My worthy apprentice,” he spoke above your head to Kylo, “you have done well in choosing your mate. I am far more impressed than I thought I could ever be. Take her, now, to Panthea. You know what to do.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” he paused, “thank you.” Kylo sounded relieved though respectful, his voice filled with pride. Not for himself, however, but for you.

“All it took, my child, was a little nudge from the dark side. You must train and use this ally as I have used it on you.” Snoke’s voice settled like stone as he chuckled, retaking his seat on the throne.

And suddenly, with a wave of his hand, you felt the suffocating, uncharacteristic anger that had been consuming you lift like a fog. You gasped as a cool, fresh breath of air surged into your lungs, forcing to your knees. Your eyes lifted to the bodies in front of you, and without warning, you hurled the contents of your stomach onto the floor.

“The residual effects of dark interlacing, no need to worry.” Snoke waived his hand in dismissal. “Take her to the medical bay and she will be ready to travel by tomorrow.” Snoke also ordered a cleaning droid to remove your sick from the obsidian floors and to dispose of the bodies. You felt Kylo’s large hands lift you and pull you tight to his chest.

“I’m so proud of you,” he whispered, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead. His excitement and pride hummed off him in a soothing melody that you did your best to focus on. “You have no idea what you’ve just proven to our Master.”

As he turned to carry you away to the lift, however, clear tears streaked down your face, mixing with the drying smudges of blood on your cheeks. You watched as the two lifeless bodies were unceremoniously dragged to be disposed of, their already glassy eyes staring far away into the vast nothingness. You wept for them both, having seen their lives and hearts displayed to you before you took it all away.

You wondered if Snoke had known they were lovers.

Deep down, you lamented that the answer was yes.


	7. Chapter 7

The ship descended smoothly through the atmosphere of Panthea, gliding effortlessly through the chilly, misty air. On the steady range just beyond the lush meadows and still lakes, tall mountains stood haloed with smoky grey rings like crowns. Your eyes roamed over the landscape smoothly, everything blending and sighing together as if by divine creation. You didn’t need to leave the ship to feel that the Force was strong here.

Leaning back in your seat, you glanced towards Kylo, his face deep in concentration as he maneuvered the ship to land. When you had awoken in the medical bay the previous afternoon, body still weak from Snoke’s manipulation, Kylo was no where to be found. Calling to the medical droid, you asked of Kylo’s whereabouts. The droid told you he was speaking with the Knights of Ren and would be back shortly.

When Kylo did return, around the time of your evening meal, the anger radiating off him had been suffocating. You felt particularly susceptible to it in your exhaustion and the openness of your bond with Kylo. Reaching out to him, you felt guilt and anxiety buried deep beneath the rage. Upon inquiring about his current state, he dismissed it and demanded you to rest for the trip.

As Kylo looked for suitable landing along the terrain, your eyes wandered over his face. His jaw was clenched as he focused on the lights and panels of the metal machine, all unfamiliar and foreign to you. You were glad he wasn’t wearing his usual garb, instead sporting a more appropriate outfit for your stay on the wild planet.

After a moment, the ship settled gently, hissing as it decompressed the internal compartment and allowed fresh air to circumvent within. Kylo flipped a few more switches before standing and alerting the Supremacy of your safe arrival through the comm. You enjoyed observing the way he commanded and lead those under him, his voice always firm and confident.

Moving from your seat, you both wordlessly grabbed your packs and supplies before exiting the ship, comfortable in one another’s presence. You were thankful that Kylo wasn’t prying into your emotions or thoughts, though it bothered you how consumed he was with his own. You weren’t ready to discuss the events of the throne room, though you were eager to bring up his meeting with the Knights.

Once outside the metal confines of the ship, you breathed in a deep lungful of sweet mountain grass, fresh lake water, and forthcoming thunderstorms.

“It’s beautiful here, Ben.”

Kylo only nodded half-heartedly and lead the way down the embankment to the edge of the lake, his large strides setting you at a fast pace.

Panthea was a lush and ancient planet. Its rolling green hills and mountain ranges were rugged and worn from eons of wind and rain. However, the peaks still stood tall and resilient in their modesty. Like ageless oracles, they held secrets deep in their cores. The Force lived and breathed on this planet, undisturbed and at peace.

“Ben, where exactly are we going?“

“To the island of glass, the one you saw in your vision.”

You chewed the inside of your lip as you followed, attempting to walk in stride with him.

“Why are we here? I’ve tried not to pry but I think I should know-”

“I don’t want you overwhelmed with our Master’s assignment. We have all the time we need, don’t rush it.”

You didn’t like that answer, or the way that Ben was acting. He wouldn’t look you in your face or turn when speaking to you. A light mist of rain had begun, causing you to pull the hood of your poncho up over your head. Kylo ignored the elements and pushed on around the lake.

You walked in silence for a while, the crunching of your shoes the only sound on the pebbled beach. The coast wove with the curve of the mountains, stretching its embankment along the narrow strip of land. After curving once more, the terrain opened into a giant bowl, the lake pushed up to the mountains on all side except the way in which you came. In the center of the lake was a small island, the same one you had seen before.

The sudden reminder of the lives you had taken punched you in the gut, momentarily sucking the air from your lungs. You paused as you stared at the lake, fists clenching and unclenching. Kylo stopped when he no longer heard your footsteps behind him and turned to face you, voice emotionless.

“We need to get across and set up camp before dark.”

Deciding it was as good a place as any, Kylo began to take of his pack and remove his clothing, winding them tight and shoving them into the bag. Soon he stood only in his tight black boxers as you mindlessly followed suit, shivering in the cool air and rain. Down to your bra and panties, you wadded into the water with Kylo, hissing at the unwelcome change in temperature.

You both swam to the island with long, easy strokes, pushing the floating packs in front of your bodies like buoys. The swim took longer than you thought, your body quickly numbing from the cold surrounding you. Once ashore the small island, you quickly pulled out what you needed from you pack to get a fire going. Kylo, frustratingly silent, dried off with a heavy blanket before passing it to you. Snatching it moodily, you wrapped it around your shoulder and sat near the fire, hands hovering over the flames.

Kylo redressed and set up camp, getting the makeshift shelter up within minutes. As you watched him work, you reached out through the Force gently, caressing him and his worrying mind. He froze for a moment upon feeling your efforts to soothe him. His sighed loudly and dropped his head in defeat before walking over and joining you by the fire. You opened your blanket cocoon and allowed him access to your warming body, which he molded his massive frame to. Resting your still damp head against his chest, you listened to his quickening heartrate with a frown.

“Ben…”

You whispered his name softly in invitation. He swallowed a few times before speaking.

“I-I have something to ask you, and to tell you.”

Nodding, you looked up at him and reached your hand to his jaw. Your fingertips brushed his trembling lips before you kissed him in assurance. Whatever he wanted to discuss, it frightened him. He kissed you back softly, his lips moving against yours. He pulled back after a moment before kissing the top of your head and looking into the fire.

“Did you - have there been, others?”

You knew what he meant as he struggled to pose to the question. You contemplated your answer before speaking, choosing your words carefully.

“At the Goddess’s temple, we were encouraged to be open to all energy and feelings. It was only through transparency that you could allow yourself to receive Her wisdom. I had a few lovers, only one of whom meant anything to me. She was kind and soft with me. I needed that after -“ pausing, you looked at the flames and chewed your bottom lip. “I was hurting so much, Ben.”

Kylo said nothing, though to your surprise, you felt his body relax some.

“I understand. I was lost for a long time, I kept trying to find things to replace you.”

His tone made you uncomfortable, the relief in his voice at your disclosure unsettling.

“You seem, happy, that I found other women to bed. Why?”

He sucked in a large breath through is nose, releasing it slowly. It was a trick you had learned as a youngling under Skywalker to relieve anxiety. Kylo refused to look at you when you glanced up at his face.

“It doesn’t make me happy. But it makes me feel less…guilty.”

“Ben, you don’t have to be guilty for sleeping with other people. I mean, I did leave and there was no certainty we would have been brought back together. It’s not like you Force bonded with some-“

Ben tensed.

“-one.”

His heart was beating loudly, color rising to his cheeks. Pulling away from him some, the knot in your stomach began to tighten. Something wasn’t right. It took a few tries for the words to come out of Kylo’s mouth.

“I did - I tried to create a Force bond with someone. The Supreme Leader thought that if I could replace you, it would make me stronger. He saw my feelings for you as a weakness before he realized they were a strength -“

“Who Ben?”

You jaw was clenched, anger and bile rising in your throat. You felt like you were going to be sick.

“-he thought a mate would somehow deepen my connection and make my training better. The greatest Force users always had an equal, someone to give and take power from. It didn’t mean anything, it failed and she-“

“ _Who_ _Ben?_!”  

You were standing now, fists clenched as you dared him to reveal the truth. You willed him not the say that name.

Not her.

_Anyone but her._

The Force was again rolling off you in crashing waves, disturbing the gentle flow of it on the island. Kylo didn’t look at you when he spoke, watering eyes instead turning to the emerging stars above.

“Jhila.”

The flames of the fire froze, crackled once, and then exploded, shooting into the sky with an all-consuming rage as you screamed like a wounded beast.


	8. Chapter 8

_-22 years prior-_

You sat sniffling in your hut, the oversized padawan robes drooping off your shoulder in a comedic display. A soft knock at your door made your teary eyes lift before the door creaked open. Master Skywalker’s soft face appeared as he passed the threshold to the small hut and walked towards you.

“I thought I might find you here, little one.”

You did your best to stop your trembling lip, but to no avail. You continued to cry silently as he moved to sit next to you on the bed. He allowed you to cry openly, not once chastising you for the display of emotion, exuding a calm atmosphere in the small space.

“Tell me, young padawan, why are you crying?”

His voice was soft and concerned, giving you permission to speak your mind.

“I-I miss my papa, and my home. It’s so loud here.” You hugged yourself tightly, resting your chin on your knees.

“You’ll be able to see him again one day, when your training is complete. It’s not goodbye forever-“ Luke began before you cut him off.

“Papa is going to die, Master Skywalker. He is leaving to be with mama.”

Luke froze at that, his mouth frozen open as he contemplated your words. You felt the Force hum around you like the slow, lazy humming of bees on a warm summer day. It was your oldest and dearest friend, and you welcomed its presence.

“Have you seen that, little one? Did the Force show it to you?”

You nodded, fresh tears streaking down your cheeks. Luke instinctively reached out his hand to wipe the tears away and to turn your face to him. His eyes held a weight to them; an equal sadness matching your own.

“The Force acts in ways we cannot understand or change. Your connection with it is strong; I have never heard of such a youngling being granted visions so early in their training.” He was speaking more to himself than to you, but he came back to the moment when you shifted so that you could rest your small head against his arm.

“I want to go home.” Your voice was barely a whisper, but it filled the small space of your hut nonetheless.

Luke said nothing for a moment before hugging you tightly to his side.

“You know, both of my parents are with the Force too. I know that loneliness can feel burdensome; more than people realize. But know that you are never alone, little one. Reach out to them through the Force and you will feel their love and pride for you. You will do great things, I can sense it.”

You looked up at him, the last sniffles leaving your chest as you contemplated his words. Nodding, you wiped your eyes with the back of your hand.

“Have you met Jhila yet, youngling?”

“No, I haven’t met many others yet.”

“Well, Jhila lost both of her parents as well when she was a little girl on Mandalore. In their culture, though, family exists beyond blood. You don’t ever have to be alone when you take on a chosen family. She is a few years older than you, but I think she would be a wonderful friend to you. Would you like me to introduce you to her?”

You looked up at Master Skywalker and were struck by the kindness that replaced the sadness in his eyes. He understood the pain that was wound tight in your chest, and you were suddenly thankful for him. You offered him a small smile of gratitude.

“Yes please.”

Luke smiled and stood, offering his hand out to you. You took it and walked out of the hut together, the Force still humming pleasantly around you both.

~~~

_-14 years prior-_

Jhila was cackling like mad as you ran on her heels, trying to keep up as laughter bubbled from your chest as well, coming out in breathless snorts. You both leapt at the same time to the trees above, gracefully landing on their branches as you continued to run from the angry boys beneath.

“Get back here you nerfhearders!”

The voice of Ben Solo rang out, an angry but adolescent bark of a boy trying to sound much older than he was.

You and Jhila burst into more fits of laughter as you leapt from tree to tree with ease. Enos and Rek Jor were following closely behind, covered in the same goop as Ben and cursing just as loudly.

The prank war had started innocently enough, but of course Ben Solo had taken it to a ridiculous degree. Jhila was never one to back down, and after finding some creepy crawlers that had been put in your beds, she devised a diabolical plan.

The goop you had collected from pollenating flowers in the valley beyond the temple was pungent and attracted a whole host of unwelcomed critters to the boys. Having dumped it on them from the balcony above, the three adolescents started a hot pursuit of you two.

Jhila suddenly grabbed your sleeve as you were about to leap to the next tree, pulling you into the hollow crevasse of the trunk. Rays of light illuminated areas of the tight space, both of you breathing hard as you listened to the boys continue their hunt, unaware of your hiding spot.

“Do you think they’re gone?” you whispered after a moment, peering around the opening of the trunk.

“We better wait it out some, I have never seen Ben so mad!” Jhila was laughing again, a pleasant and sturdy sound that always brought a smile to your lips. “I don’t think even you can work your charm on him at this point.”

You blushed a deep scarlet, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“W-what do you mean?”

Jhila rolled her eyes and moved to sit down, leaning against the back wall of the hovel.

“C’mon, you know Ben likes you. And you know that you like him back, don’t you?”

You sat next to her, knees touching in the cramped hiding spot. You thought for a moment before nodding your head a smiling to yourself. Jhila smirked triumphantly.

“Well, what are you gonna do about it? Kiss him?”

“Kiss Ben Solo? No! I mean,” your fingers found a piece of bark to fiddle with as you stammered about, “I want to but – I don’t know how. He will think I am bad at it and then never want to again I’m sure.”

Jhila flipped her hair over her shoulder and snorted.

“Kissing isn’t hard, it comes naturally,” she considered you for a moment before cocking her head, “do you want me to show you how?”

Your eyes went wide, an eagerness suddenly present in your belly.

“You would do that? A-are you sure?“

Jhila snorted again and scooted towards you confidently.

“Better you look like a fool in front of me instead of him. Besides, it’s just kissing.”

She took her hand and cupped your face, turning it towards her own before she licked her lips. Leaning in, she kissed you gently, her lips intoxicatingly soft against your own. Pulling away after a moment, she looked down at you with a smile. It was over before it began, much to your dismay.

“See? Nothing to it. Now, making out is a different but you can worry about that later on. I’ll teach you too if you want.”

You nodded wordlessly, looking up at the older girl in awe. You were struck by how beautiful she looked sitting beside you, the rays of light cascading across her features. She was the same age as Ben, having just turned 15 compared to your 13, but she seemed so much wiser than her age.

That moment was the first time you realized you loved someone. She, before Ben or anyone else, was your closest companion, your demanding teacher, and your dearest friend.

~~~

As you both grew, she taught you all the different ways of kissing, tongues dancing over one another’s in the dark of her hut. You returned to her with glee after your first kiss with Ben Solo, praising her for her wisdom much to her pride.

She taught you how to catch and gut a fish, saving only the best meat for to cook over a beach fire.

She taught you how to please both yourself and other women, giving you your first orgasm on the night you turned 15.

She taught you the easiest way to meditate away menstrual cramps when they interfered with daily tasks at the temple.

And now, as you and Ben screamed at each other on the beach of an alien planet, she taught you the harrowing lesson of betrayal.


	9. Chapter 9

“You just left! You were gone without warning or reason and that’s on _you_!”

Kylo’s voice reverberated around the island, anger hot and thick in the words he spat.

“You gave me no other choice Kylo! You never _once_ told me about the Supreme Leader and the way he had been speaking to you! The fall of the temple destroyed the only home I ever knew, I don’t have a family like you do!”

Angry tears were streaming down your cheeks as you screamed at him, the wind and fire still swirling and whipping around you both. Kylo’s eyes went mad at your words, a cruel laugh tearing from his throat as he paced around, the stones near the beach cracking and groaning under the pressure of the Force.

“My family? _My family_?! My father and mother abandoned me to fuck around and fight a causeless war–”

“How long are you going to fucking milk that sob story Ben?! Your parents loved you despite how busy they were! I have two kriffing memories of my mother! TWO!”

The trees around you both shuddered and creaked, the bark moaning under the immense energy.

“I would rather have  _NEVER_ known who my parents were than to have them fucking abandon me with droids to raise me! And then send me off to my sociopathic uncle for some brainwashing indoctrination!”

It was your turn to laugh maniacally, causing Kylo to growl at your display, spit flying from his mouth as his teeth clenched together.

“And what the _FUCK_ do you think Snoke is doing to you now?! All masters brainwash their students you fucking nerf herder! It’s what they do!” fresh tears began to sting your eyes as your voice reached hysteria, “Why couldn’t you just leave me in peace and be satisfied with _Jhila_? Why her Kylo? _WHY_?!”

The storm above you both roared as the wind continued to thrash everything in its path. Lightning broke free from the clouds and struck the rock walls of the bowl surrounding the lake, echoing loudly in your ears. Neither of you acknowledged the hell that raged unbound in the microcosm of hatred you two had created. Nature itself was thrashing, desperate to escape the dark energy emanating from you both.

“Because she came crawling _to me_ on her fucking hands and knees every fucking night, begging to suck my cock!” you winced and bared your teeth at his crude words, “And yes, I finally fucking relented because you were gone, just gone!”

You released a breath of hot air, realizing you had been holding it tight in your chest. The energy that ebbed off you began to slow as you processed Kylo’s words.

“The Supreme Leader thought I could use her lust to my advantage; to fuel my power with a Force Bond. I tried, I really fucking did but she was weak with the Force and in will. She is nothing, NOTHING, compared to you.”

Your chest heaved, heart pounding in your ears as you watched him begin to stalk towards you.

“Do you have any idea how long I searched for you? How much time and energy and resources were spent finding my equal? This wasn’t just for me, or for the Supreme Leader. It was for _you_.”

Kylo’s voice was still strong and angry as he pointed his finger at your chest, but his tone held a fluctuation of something else that fanned the flame of your soul.

 _Pride_.

“ _You_ ,” he began, voice only rising in veneration, “whose skill in battle is unmatched by any being in the galaxy.”

The winds slowed their assault as a cooling rain began to weep around you. Kylo continued moving slowly towards you as he spoke again.

“ _You_ , whose power equally matches only my own in raw potentiality.”

He stood only a pace away from you before he slowly sank to his knees, eyes brimming with tears of devotion as they held yours, his voice firm and strong.

“ _You_ , whose wits and prowess will make planets fall to their knees in worship of their Empress.”

Something, something deep within your being cracked and opened at his prophecy; a sliver of light glorifying the darkness beyond. From it, a thin gossamer of grey smoke seeped from the fissure and danced forward into the abyss. It was alone and cold; and suddenly you were afraid. But in the far-off distance a dark smoke curled towards the grey, a similar breach in the darkness creating another beacon of light from which the dark smoke bled.

They advanced towards one another in a seductive dance, winding and merging into one another’s path as they made their way towards the cradle of the other. Slowly, so very slowly, the grey smoke entered the foreign fountain of the dark, familiar smoke.

And then, blinding light filled the nothingness between the two wells, narrowing vastly as the smokes became one, drawing every ounce of air from your lungs.

You sank to your knees and fought for breath as Ben’s mind bloomed open to yours. His thoughts and memories, his subconscious and fears, everything was as clear as your own. You felt Ben sigh and shiver as his forehead pressed to yours, both of your cheeks wet with the tears of the other.

You saw his love for you clear as day, equally matched only to your love for him. You both sat like that for what seemed like hours, exploring the vast terrain of the other’s heart, learning everything there was to know. The rain soaked you both to the core but did nothing to dismay the intimate birth of the bond.

After eons had passed and the stars had lived and died, Ben spoke. No words passed from between his lips as he did so, the soft whisper echoing through your mind in clarity.

_“I love you.”_

And without a doubt in your soul, the Force-Bond sealing your essences for eternity, your mind whispered back as you kissed him.

_“I know.”_


	10. Chapter 10

Kylo’s breathy grunts in your ear made you clench around his thick length harder, moaning as he filled every inch of you and praised your tightness. You laid sprawled beneath him in the tent, your hips moving in a deliciously rough rhythm with his own. Everything felt magnified; the intensity of your pleasures mounting in a violent crescendo that threatened to consume you both.

His mind was open to you, though not as much as when the bond had formed just hours before. It took more work and energy to try open and read every part of his mind. Only his current thoughts and emotions were accessible at any given moment. And right now, as he quickly approached his orgasm, you found yourself quickly approaching your climax as well. This, _this_ was the new discovery that had you both rutting like animals for hours on end; anytime one of you climaxed, the other felt it as intensely in their own quaking limbs and muscles.

When Kylo finally stalled, breath hitching as he shuddered above you, your mind and body exploded with his pleasure. It was powerful enough to trigger your own orgasm, hips bucking wildly as you rode out wave after wave of pleasure, exhausted and full in ways you never new possible.

“B-ben, ohmygods, _fuck_!” you moaned and cursed your way through your climax, Kylo gasping above you as he felt the same contractions and spasms.

He stayed buried inside of you, both of your pants filling the steamy and sex perfumed space of the tent. You wrapped your legs around his hips as he relaxed against you, his full lips placing gentle kisses along your jaw. Bodies intertwined, you laid for what felt like hours with his comforting weight on top of you until Kylo eventually pulled out and wrapped you in his arms.

Hours later, the sun climbing high into the cloudy expanse of grey sky, you roused to find Kylo gone. Stepping into the cool air outside the tent, skin erupting in goosebumps, your eyes found Kylo beyond the water edge, bathing with a bar of soap in hand.

You wadded out towards him, finding the water oddly warm, with the temperature increasing the closer you approached.

“Careful,” he turned with an outstretched hand, the movement of his body revealing the red haze of his saber hissing beneath the water.

You took his hand and watched him unignite the saber, the water around him warm and welcoming.

“Well, my love, aren’t you clever?” you teased him, taking the offered soap from his hand and scrubbing your body.

“It was either that or freezing water,” he murmured, kissing the side of your head.

“I appreciate the gesture, we both smell less than pleasant.” You wrinkled your nose as you passed the soap over your armpits.

It was true, you both stunk of sex, sweat, and smoke from the fire that was now only smoldering ashes. You carefully cleaned your body, getting every nook and sticky crevasse. Kylo helped you lather your hair and wash your back. His large hands took their time running over your exhausted muscles, thumbs digging into the knots along your shoulders. You turned and did the same, finding an unacceptable amount of knots and bruises.

“Are those from me?” you inquired, brows furrowed in worry.

Kylo gave a low chuckle before glancing over his shoulder to respond.

“You should see your back and neck.”

“Ben Solo, you better have not hickied me, you filthy rancor,” you warned seriously as you attempted to look at your collar bone.

Kylo only submerged himself fully in the water, rinsing his hair beneath the crystal reflection before emerging and shaking like a wet dog.

“Don’t act like you don’t like it, my little eopie–“ he was cut off with a rough smack across the chest.

You pointed your finger in his smirking face.

“Do _not_ call me that. You know I fucking hate that nickname.”

“What, you don’t like being compared to those giant scrotum beasts?”

“Yeah, no. I’m going to have to say I don’t appreciate being compared to a giant scrotum beast.”

You wadded out of the water, Kylo following and laughing closely behind, moving to dry off quickly before tossing him the towel. You both dressed in warm fabrics and robes, trying to keep out the cool air nipping at your exposed skin. Kylo undid the tent while chewing on a rations bar, tossing one to you as you doused the fire. The rations bar was disgustingly grey and tasteless, but it had the basic nutrients to get you through the day. You made a note to have something hot and delicious once back aboard the Supremacy. After camp had been packed away and all traces of your presences erased, you followed Ben as he led you deeper into the island.

The terrain was as lush and green as the rest of the planet. The ancient stones lining the worn path were carved with unfamiliar symbols, guiding you both to the center on the island. You did your best to house your curiosity and not pry into Kylo’s open mind. You could feel his eagerness and excitement and didn’t want to ruin whatever was in store.

The bond between you both allowed access to each other’s train of thought, emotions, and energy. However, as you both discovered while testing the bond in the late hours of the night, it was much like a stream of water. One mind could submerge itself in the other or simply remain above the stream of thought, hovering along the shore of consciousness. But it was always open and accessible, both streams either intertwined or separate based on the two minds’ desires. Although slightly uncomfortable and anxiety inducing, you kept the streams separated as the ancient carved stones broke into an opening in the middle of a clearing.

“Careful, the stairs are weathered,” Kylo warned you, descending carefully into the dark pit.

He ignited his saber, the crackling hiss of the blade comforting you as the red glow illuminated the moldy stones below. The farther you both went, however, the lighter and warmer the air got. Soon, Kylo extinguished the no longer necessary light.

A familiar shiver crept along your spine upon reaching the bottom of the stairwell, your lips forming a small ‘oh’ at the panorama before you. The Force filled every inch of the primordial cave, illuminated like the night sky with endless stars along every surface of stone. Upon closer inspection, you reached out your hand, gently running your finger tips along a smooth crystal.

“Are these what I think they are?” you asked, turning to Kylo.

He held pride in his features, looking regal in the glow of the crystals.

“Kyber crystals,” he nodded, stepping forward, “Ancient miners kept this place a secret for lifetimes. They somehow manipulated the Force to keep it shielded away, trusting neither Jedi nor Sith with access to the crystals. The Supreme Leader was powerful enough to break their attempt at seclusion. Upon our arrival, they fled the planet, unwilling to share this location. But no matter, your interrogation proved vital to the Supreme Leader’s plan.”

Pausing, he searched your face for signs of emotion before continuing.

“You need a new saber to rule at my side.”

He reached out his hand, tipping your jaw upwards as he leaned in, kissing you with tender fervency.

“You are still connected with the lightside of the Force. The Supreme Leader thinks it should be enough to attract a crystal. You won’t have to bleed one. Not like I did.”

The surrounding luminosity reflected in his dark eyes; small galaxies in an endless inky abyss. His hands moved towards his cloak, pulling out remnants of your old saber. Your eyes began to blur with tears, chest full of emotions as you struggled to understand.

“But how–“ your eyes raised from his hands to face in confusion.

“I returned to the temple years after we abandoned it. Scavengers had pillaged the place. They stole your kyber crystal after cracking open the core,” he paused to lick his lips before continuing, “I found every piece I could, hoping that, one day, I could return it to you.”

Kylo’s eyes shone with unshed tears as well, his voice tight in his throat. You took the pieces from his open hands, your fingers trembling. The metal had been horribly damaged; it was scratched and bent until near unrecognizable. And yet, you knew it was an appropriate reflection.

Kylo stepped aside as you carried the pieces of metal in your arms, wandering towards the center of the cave. You sat cross-legged and placed each piece in front of you with care. The metal had darkened to near obsidian, the smoke having eradicated its previous luster. Closing your eyes, palms resting on your knees, you took a deep breath and opened yourself entirely to the Force.

The pieces rose into the air under your command, the metal humming as you carefully ran the Force over each fragment. You smoothed what you could of the fractured shell but left it rugged and jarred. Stilling your senses completely, the cave itself holding its breath, all the energy of the cavern suspended.

Your heartbeat was the only audible sound your ears found.

And then, a soft whisper came from the depths of the cave.

You listened intently, opening your eyes to find a starless sea of black staring back. The soft hum of a whisper called out to you from afar as you reached out your hand, beckoning it forward. A single light emerged, gliding towards you through the darkness. The crystal hovered in front of your face, a small, glimmering thing. It had chosen you, of course. It was never the other way around.

You offered it a place in the chamber of the hovering pieces of metal, holding your breath as you waited to see its decision. It continued to hover for a moment, bobbing up and down as if adrift on the sea.

Slowly, without your guidance or movement, it settled between the metal with a sigh. The cave re-illuminated all at once, light flooding the dark as you sealed the obsidian scraps together with a final hiss. It was only when you stood and grasped the saber in your hand that the cave released its breath, coincided with your own shaky exhalation.

And to your amazement, the impressive saber ignited smoothly under your touch, revealing an alluring silver-grey glow.

~~~

Kylo stepped off the ship and into the docking bay with you at his side, your stride and pace equal with one another. Stormtroopers stood at attention in formation as you strode by, blasters held tight to their chests. Captain Phasma and General Hux were waiting at the end of the lined path, sticking out amongst the sea of white armor. General Hux looked less than pleased, as always, his features held tight in a scowl. Captain Phasma gave a tilt of her helmet before speaking.

“Sir, Ma’am, the Supreme Leader requests your presence in the throne room at once.”

Nodding, you and Kylo walked towards the lift at the far end of the bay, Captain Phasma and General Hux following close behind. Once inside, you both stood shoulder to shoulder, waiting patiently as the lift carried you higher and higher through the Supremacy. You felt warm breath on the back of your neck, agitation spreading throughout your chest with each unwelcome gust. You reached out to Kylo, speaking softly through the bond, though you both continued to stare straight ahead.

_If Hux doesn’t stop mouth breathing down my neck, I’m going to smash his face into the wall._

A small grin tugged at the corner of Kylo’s lips.

_I would very much enjoy watching that._

To Hux’s mercy, the lift came to a stop, the doors opening to reveal the grandiose throne room. Supreme Leader Snoke sat slouched in his uncomfortable looking throne, elbows leaning against it as you and Kylo approached and kneeled before him. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed the Knights of Ren were in attendance as well, their eyes all on your and Kylo. Captain Phasma and General Hux took their place on the opposite side of the room.

“My apprentice,” Snoke’s voice was thick with admiration as he looked to Kylo, “rise.”

You kept kneeling as Kylo stood, head bowed slightly as you awaited further instruction. Snoke’s malicious laugh echoed through the room.

“And what wonders your little expedition has had on your mate. She will make a worthy warrior, I am sure,” he cleared his throat, “Rise.”

You did as you were told, hands clasped in front of you once you were at your full height. Snoke’s face held a crooked smile as he observed you, reaching out through the Force to run through your mind. You allowed the unwanted intrusion, knowing better than to fight it this time around.

After thoroughly delving through your consciousness, Snoke laughed loudly again, leaning back in his seat as his body shook with each breath.

“Well, well, well. It seems finding you was worth the trouble, my dear. I never anticipated the Force Bond being completed so _quickly_ ,” his head turned towards the direction of the Knights of Ren, “Had I know Jhila would have struggled doing so, I would have sought you out _much_ sooner.”

Feeling no shame, you turned your head towards Jhila, only to find her jaw clenched as she stared ahead. When your voice rang out, clear and unwavering, the confidence shocked even you.

“I am sure she is not to blame Supreme Leader,” Snoke cocked his eyebrow before you continued, your eyes locked on Jhila’s face, “only Kylo Ren’s true equal could ever create such a bond.”

Jhila’s composure broke, her head snapping in your direction, face holding a hatred that attempted to bore itself into your soul. Your maintained perfect composure with head held high, eyeing her as the subordinate she was. You knew your place, as she would soon learn hers.  

Snoke was clearly pleased as he laughed again, eyes sweeping between the two of you.

“My, my, such _confidence_. I am very pleased indeed.” Snoke thought for a moment before leaning forward, gesturing to the Knights, “Do you have anything you wish to say to your former _classmates_ , Master Knight of Ren?” Snoke’s lips curled as he mocked the previous name for his Knights.

You felt Kylo reach out through the bond, supporting you silently with his pride at your new title.

“I would appreciate such the opportunity, Supreme Leader. Thank you,” you turned to the Knights and motioned with your head, “stand before me.”

No one hesitated except Jhila, though the pause was noticeable to everyone in the room. They moved swiftly and fell in line before you, hands clasped behind their rigid backs. You stepped smoothly and walked up and down the line as you spoke, your voice reverberating around the room.

“If we are going to bring order to the galaxy, we must have order amongst ourselves,” Jhila’s breath came out in the subtlest of snorts, to which you ignored and continued, “the past is dead. And that is where the past shall remain. Moving forward, you will adjust to this as you did once before. Am I understood?”

The Knights let out a resounding ‘yes’ almost immediately.

All except Jhila.

Snoke leaned forward in his seat, a snarl ready on his lips. He soon realized his authority was not needed as you stopped to stand in front of her. Though she had been taller than you in youth, you now stood half a head taller than her. You both held each other’s gaze, unspoken betrayal and hatred searing between your bodies. Danger lurked beneath her rage filled features, the warning of a predator ready to strike a killing blow.

Kylo’s voice came from behind you, equally commanding and firm, though only you knew his words were meant for you alone.

“Let the past die,”

You nodded slowly in agreement, eyes never leaving Jhila’s as you opened your mouth to finish Kylo’s mantra.

“ _Kill it, if you have to_.”

Igniting your saber in one swift motion, you thrust it up into the sternum of Jhila’s chest. The rest of the Knights jerked and staggered backwards to avoid the hissing blade, mouths agape in horrified shock.

Jhila sputtered and gasped in pain, her eyes wide, hand grasping at your shoulder before looking down at the saber in disbelief. You leaned in towards her, lips softly brushing her ear as if she were your lover.

“ _Now_ , the past is dead, my old friend.”

You brought the saber up and to the right through her chest, piercing her heart before shoving her off the blade, her lifeless body hitting the obsidian floor in finality with an echoing _thud_.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shorter chapter but I can't help teasing you all! ;)

_7 months later_

The spaceship descended quickly through the atmosphere, rocking you and the stormtroopers inside the tight-packed bay. The soldiers around you gripped the straps hanging above their heads tighter while you used the Force to steady yourself, breathing gently and exuding an air of calm to those around you. You couldn’t see any of them with your hood up, the peripheral of your vision darkened and cut. But you enjoyed the privacy of the cloak, it allowed you to speak to Kylo on the other ship. As if on cue, you felt him reach out too and closed your eyes.

 _In and out, no survivors_ , he reminded you.

 _They are drastically outnumbered. We will make short work of the remaining Resistance members_. Your response was confident and reassuring to Kylo, his heartbeat setting in rhythm with yours.

The ship set on the ground, the door hissing open. You ignited your saber for light, the soothing grey glow illuminating the swirling dust in the night. The stormtroopers filed out around you as you descended the ramp, their weapons aimed ahead and ready. Phasma followed behind you, barking orders through her comm. You tugged up the tight cloth around your neck to cover your nose and mouth, leaving only your eyes exposed as you surveyed the surroundings.

The planet was rather barren, white salt covering much of the terrain. A swift kick of your boot showed you the red mineral rock beneath the surface, reminding you of the blood you had spilled the past few months. You felt neither joy nor shame at the fact, knowing you and Kylo had a job to do if the galaxy were to be balanced. The rest of the ships landed as well, unloading more and more stormtroopers.

“Ma’am, the rebel base is located in that outcropping two klicks west. Our scans show there is no way out or in except through the front hanger.”

You nodded and turned towards Phasma, your voice muffled but audible through the material around your face.

“Very well Captain, arrange your troops in a locked formation. This ends now.”

You unignited your saber as the numerous ships provided enough light to see the surrounding area. Phasma nodded her helmet to Kylo with a _“sir”_ in greeting before she left to lead the troops. He took his place next to you, dressed in full helmet and battle regalia. Your outfit was similar; tight and black as night, but flexible to allow your fighting prowess no hinderance. You refused to wear the gloves, however, feeling as though they acted like barrier between you and your weapon.

It was a chilly evening, the single moon waning high in the sky.

“Something doesn’t feel right,” you said after a moment, sight set straight ahead on the outcropping of rock ahead, “I feel her here.”

Kylo tensed at that, a simmering rage beneath his stiff composure.

“It feels faint, how do you know it is her?” The voice modulator hid his tone well, but you knew him enough to pick up on the hesitation in his voice.

You curled your lip, the skin brushing the smooth fabric over your mouth. You hated the girl of Kylo’s memories with a terrifying and all-consuming passion. You hadn’t seen the memories of her from Starkiller Base for a while upon the bond forming with Kylo, they were buried deep in a well of shame and hatred. When you realized it was her who had given Kylo the scar along his face, you both had to move rooms after the havoc you wrecked on the old one. The scavenger was _yours_ to kill, Kylo knew that and did not dare argue with you about it. If anything, you sensed a wave of pride from him for the protection you felt.

“I just know, I’ve used your memories to develop a distinct scent of her energy. The sand rat is here, trust me.” your voice came out more of a snarl that you meant, causing Kylo to brush his arm against yours.

“My mother is here too.”

You turned your head and looked at him, your eyes cautious though you couldn’t read his face through the mask.

“We don’t have to kill her, Ben,” you whispered, “we can keep her as a prisoner, get her to see–“

Kylo gave a sharp turn of his head and stared down at you, cutting you off immediately.

“Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to.”

With that, he stormed away, barking orders at the troops in a menacing tone. You crossed your arms and continued to stare ahead, wrapping the Force around you tightly like a shield. Eyes fluttering closed, you took a deep breath and projected it forward, shooting like a lightening bolt towards the base. You weaved through the mass of rock and salt, finding the scavenger’s aura vibrating anxiously.

A cruel smile curled to your lips.

~~~

You deflected the blaster bolts easily, your saber swirling around you in streaks of light. The troops were closing in, and the Resistance was bound to be running out of ammo soon. The moon was still high in the sky, giving enough illumination below in combination with the flashes of gunfire. You felt Kylo not far off, his vigor matching your own as he ran his saber through one of the trench-men.

“Breach!”

The yell of Captain Phasma echoed loud over the commotion of the battle field, your attention immediately drawn to the hanger door blasting open. Without skipping a beat, you raced towards the entrance, leaping over the bodies scattered around with a wild hunger.

Once inside you scanned around, only to find the hanger completely empty.

Confused, you cautiously moved forward with saber ready. There were discarded ammo canisters and ancient x-wings far past their glory days. Stormtroopers finally began to fill in behind you, blasters at the ready. You held up a fist in military command, halting all movement behind you. Stepping forward, you reached out through the Force, trying to seek out the life forms that had been inside not long prior.

As you were halfway into the cavern, Kylo’s voice suddenly rang out to you in warning. But it was too late as the explosion erupted and collapsed the roof overhead.

You tucked and rolled forward, barely dodging a ship sized slab or rock that crashed where you had been standing. The downpour of debris continued as you ran forward and sliced the boulders with your saber. But soon you were forced to your hands and knees, coughing dust and specks of blood as you tried to crawl forward. You reached out to the Force to try and stop from being pummeled, but your head was aching, making any sort of focus near impossible. You were quickly being crushed and trapped, panic setting in as heavy as the weight above you.

Without warning, you felt the sudden sensation of being pulled forward, the pressure on your body gone and the cloudy air able to fill your lungs. The darkness of the cavern was suddenly filled with a blinding light, blurring your vision as you fought to maintain consciousness. But as you passed out, the darkness swallowed you whole.


	12. Chapter 12

A soft feminine voice called out while you dipped in and out of lucid consciousness. Its source seemed to be from above the waves of the motionless ocean that kept your mind and spirit suspended, the voice remaining frustratingly distant and indiscernible.

A second calling, though this one much more distant, came from below your form, deep within the dark shadow of the ocean floor’s crust. It sounded…familiar, and while you reminisced the derivation of the voice’s owner, you nonetheless found yourself slowly floating away from it. Your essence was rising to the surface of the translucent water, the weightless light streaming in with soft beams that warmed your inert form.

Still, part of you considered allowing your spirit to sink to the bottom depths, letting yourself return to the familiar darkness to engulf you.

To bring you home.

It would be much easier than the exhausting push upwards towards the mirrored surface; you wanted to descend, not float. But the honey filled voice just above the crest of the waves warmed you deliciously in ways you had not known you were cold. It seemed worth the exhaustive pursuit.

The surface was just there, close enough you could reach out and touch it. But fatigue won as you hovered without breaking the crystalline surface. Instead, you rested and listened to the tenor and hum of the unknown words being whispered. Anxiety gnawed at your spine if the voice disappeared for too long, the soothing hum of a Coruscant inflection the only liberation you could find in the dizzying void you tumbled through. Minutes, hours, days, lifetimes seemed to pass as you existed in a suspension of your own mind. The voice kept pulling you towards the surface, and you were eager breach the thinning barrier.

Groggy, thirsty, and aching all over, bright light covered your closed eyelids as you began to test the boundaries of your body as corporeal sensation returned to you. It was overwhelming in the beginning as you reentered yourself; the confines of your skin too tight and heavy. A low whine came from your dry throat, dusty and raw with thick coatings of sand.

A warm hand suddenly cupped your cheek, the tenderness making you flinch instinctually. Only Snoke ever touched your face in such a threatening display, and adrenaline flooded your system in response, though rationality reminded you his hands possessed a deathlike chill.

But then, as if bursting through the water and swallowing a lungful of warm air, her voice came out in crisp clarity.

“Can you hear me?”

Your eyelids fluttered slowly open, the harshness of the light dimming some as her face hovered over you and radiated an aura of its own. You blinked a few times in observation, mouth suspended open in awe.

_She is the sun._

Smooth features and soft, concerned eyes looked down at you, her cheeks kissed with lightened freckles. Delicate lashes brushed her cheeks when she blinked, a worried frown pulling down at her cerise lips.

It was a familiar face, one that you felt you had seen in a dream…or…perhaps in the mind of your lover…

You recoiled in disgust as the scenes of Kylo’s memory filled your consciousness, searing with the sensation of singed flesh and broken pride. Without a second thought, you brought your jaw forward and snapped your teeth, growling in seething rage at the girl before you. She jerked back slightly at the outburst, her mouth agape and shocked features etched across her face. You bore no real threat with your arms and legs were held down in tight constraints and a draining weakness aching through your body. But your chest rose and fell in quickened breaths as you spat venomous words at her feet.

“ _Filthy fucking sand rat_!”

The words caused her to flinch, and you revered in the momentary pain you had caused her before a wave of calm spread over her like the lull of an ocean tide. You furrowed your brows in uncertainty, though remembered she was a student of the Jedi ways; all self-constraint and emotional denial.

She allowed your words to weigh heavily in the air until an unfamiliar shame settled onto your shoulders. You shook your head in defiance of your regret, clenching your eyes tight to remember what she did to Kylo.

“My name is Rey. I saved your life,” her voice rang out in a confident hum, challenging and sturdy.

Recollections of the loud explosion above you in the rebel’s base rang in your head, the crushing weight of the ceiling as it trapped you beneath shattered shale. And then a pull away from the pain, a lungful of filthy air entering your compressed chest before you lost consciousness. But your revulsion for the girl still got the better of your emotions.

“You nearly killed Kylo, saving my life doesn’t erase that fact.” You glowered at her sun kissed and confident form, irritated by the serenity she was exuding.

She continued to examine you for a moment, the gentleness of her deep brown eyes making you shift uncomfortably against the restraints.

“He tried to kill me and my friend, I had no choice but to fight for my life on Starkiller Base that day. Kylo made his choice, and I made mine.” The firmness in which she spoke was off-putting in contrast to her tender appearance.

As she finished her sentence, you felt a creeping presence settle along your spine, making its way to the base of your skull. You panicked momentarily, adrenaline flooding your weakened system, thinking the angled table on which you were tethered was some sort of torture device. But when the Force pushed its way into your consciousness, you were flooded with the panic and relief of your lover, lightyears away and yet somehow right beside you.

–can you hear me? Thank the gods, I can finally feel you now, where are you!? My love, I am coming, I will kill them all for–

Rey raised her hand aggressively, the Force lashing out and crashing over you. Kylo’s voice was shoved away into a distant, indistinct murmur. Before you could protest or react in kind, a burst of light split you down the middle, invading every plane of your being and drawing a scream of surprise and horror from your throat. The light suspended and stagnated the flow of the Force within you, and you shuddered as you felt a thick wall settle deep within your spirit, separating you from the flow of the Force you had always known. A sob of pure terror and rage escaped your lips as she finished, dropping her hands and doubling over as she gasped for air from the exertion of power.

“W-what did–what did you just do to me?” you gasped, tears streaming down your face and burning the fresh wounds in their path.

Rey too was attempting to regain her composure, tears brimming her weary eyes, though you were not sure why. She wasn’t the one who just had everything she had ever known shunted away from her. She wiped the sweat from her forehead and worked to stand to her full height, having doubled over in exhaustion.

“It–it’s called Force Severance, very complex…The old Jedi texts warned that it–we can’t risk–he can’t come here–“

“You _bitch_!” you sobbed out between clenched teeth, sadness and emptiness echoing within you as your senses desperately tried to find at least a trickle of the Force within you, “if you’re going to kill me, just get it over with! _Fucking Jedi filth_! You’re no better than those who came before you, misguided and lofty–!“

“I’m not going to kill you,” Rey snapped back, stepping towards you with equal passion and heat in her voice, anger swelling to match your own.

You stared at her with exhaustion and crushing sorrow. Resting your head back against the table, a lifeless laugh pushed from between your lips.

“Torture me then? Beat me? Get everything you can from my being before tossing the shell that’s left aside?”

You stared up at the ceiling as you spoke, unashamed of the tears that now flowed freely down your face.

“No.”

You stiffened, though remained too prideful to look at her as she walked closer towards you, only a hand’s reach away. Her voice was filled conviction when she finally spoke, a clarity and resolve that left you more uncertain than before of the will of the Force.

“I’m going to save you.”

The warmth of her breath brushed your jawline, and you shuddered at the welcomed heat, goosebumps erupting along your skin.

She turned and left as if she hadn’t noticed, but as she closed the door to your cell, you saw her wipe fresh tears away from the rose of her cheeks.


	13. Chapter 13

She didn’t return for a long while after that.

You weren’t given any food or water, and no visitors came to your cell. When she finally did return, she carried a small liquid filled cup. Wordlessly, she walked towards you and held the cool metal to your lips. Deprivation stole your pride as you gulped down the water, relief immediately filling your body and clearing your hazy mind.

Rey stepped away once you emptied the cup, setting it aside before walking back towards you. Your eyes roamed over her as she moved through the pale light, catching sight of the legacy saber on her hip.

“That’s not yours.”

You couldn’t help the words before they left your mouth, but you didn’t regret them. An offering of life sustaining water didn’t earn her anything from you.

Rey quirked her brow at you and glanced towards her saber.

“Then whose is it?” she inquired, crossing her arms as she looked back at you.

“It’s Ben’s –“ the name slipped out in your groggy state, causing her to give you an odd look.

“You call him that? You must mean a lot to him.”

It was a statement, and nothing to argue with. You chose instead to the look to the ceiling, testing the tautness of your restraints.

“He and the fleet are coming for you. I, and the rest of the Resistance, are leaving. The ships are being prepared as we speak.”

Hope fluttered in your chest, an immense relief flooding you.

“So, what was the point then of all this?” you mocked.

“The point of saving you? I’m not a murderer like you and Ben.”

“Don’t call him that!” you snarled, cursing her darkly.

She did nothing to react at your outburst, still exuding an infuriating calm. She allowed the silence to make you itch a while longer, maintaining the upper hand in a simple display.

“Master Luke thinks you’re the key to all of this.”

Your head snapped immediately to look her in the eye, the shock plain on your face.

_No, she’s lying. Luke is dead…_

“He survived that night. I’ve seen him, trained with him. He’s the one who told me to return to the Resistance and help them rebuild,” you fought the urge to roll your eyes in disgust, “and to save you.”

Something akin to fear and awe settled deep within you. She moved slowly towards you, eyes bright.

“The tide of the war will shift if you change sides. I feel the light in you still, you’re not one of them,” you couldn’t help but watch her as closed the distance between you, “I know you feel it too, a pull away from him.”

“How dare you, _filthy sand rat_ , Kylo and I are Force bonded. We are equals and we _will_ bring balance to the galaxy. Your words fall on deaf ears and a knowing heart.”

Before Rey could respond, a knock came to the door. Rey turned and went to step outside before returning just as quickly.

Raising her hand, you felt the severance lift, and you gasped at the flood of sensation returning to you. Rey made no movements to unbind you, and you knew the First Order was near.

“We will see about that. I have hope, and we both know this isn’t over,” she walked back towards you and leaned down some, looking at you intently. “It’s no use trying to keep Kylo from you, the Resistance has more important things to do. But this was important, Master Luke knows what he is doing.”

Leaning down, she spoke gently in your ear, her breath holding an unwanted truth that made your gut twist uncomfortably.

“ _These are your first steps_.”

 

~~~

It wasn’t long before you felt him. His ferocious anxiety hummed louder than the ships diving through the atmosphere; an overkill onslaught of the First Order’s heaviest war fleet. You sighed as the warmth of his presence flooded you, bringing feeling to your numb fingertips. You closed your eyes and smiled, the red flash of the sirens shadowed on your eyelids. But they were a distant sound, you were focusing on his breathing.

The rise and fall of his broad chest.

The grit of his teeth, barely audible through the modulator of his mask.

The leather of his gloves tightening as he flexed and clenched his dominant hand, aching to ignite his saber.

He would spill blood, that much you knew. He lusted for it in a maddening thirst, driving him feral as he exited the confines of barely landed ship. You weren’t sure if you heard the blasters from your place within your cell, or from the cloud of Kylo’s mind. It was all a haze, cascaded waterfalls of wartime hymns. You pulled tighter against your restraints as you felt your freedom inch closer, bodies falling like rose petaled gifts from your lover.

The others had left a while ago, as Rey knew what was coming. Why they left others behind was beyond your scope of concern. Their ships had left moments before you felt Kylo’s rage in the atmosphere above.

You were still too weak and exhausted to remove the confines yourself. The burning of your throat and ache in your belly were nothing compared to the ravenous hunger you felt for him. The raw need just to see him pricked tears to your eyes, mouth parting slightly as your breathing increased, sight set on the large door before you.

The universe took pity on you finally as the door cracked and dismantled, leaping out of the way for the towering figure to enter beyond its barrier. In one swift motion, only allowing for the time of a single step to take place, the constraints were ripped away, and your body wrapped into his. Sobs of relief and rage and passion poured from your throat as you clung to his chest. He dropped to his knees and held you in your weakened state, gripping you much more gingerly than he would have liked.

You looked up into the mask after a moment, allowing the rush of emotion and weakness to pass, cupping the curvature tenderly.

“Kylo,” you breathed, taking in the stench of burnt skin and blood that splattered his figure.

“Shh,” he cooed, the sound sending shivers to your bones, “you’re weak. You need a medic.”

Without allowing you another word, he scooped you tight into his chest and carried you away from the cell. You didn’t care to look around as he took you to the ship. All you could do was nuzzle closely to him, clinging like the weakened creature you were. There would be time to regain your dignity later. No one would dare say a word at the sight of Kylo Ren carrying his mate across the Finalizer’s threshold like a bride.

If they did, their blood would your lover’s gift to give at your desire.

~~~

Nutrients and water were the first necessity given to you. Tubes and medical droids surrounded you the first day upon your return to the Finalizer. You drifted in and out of consciousness, no doubt due to the medication they pumped through your veins. The weakened state Rey had kept you in was their only defense against your power, with or without the Force Severance. Lacking the sustenance of food and water, it didn’t matter how strong of a Force wielder you were. All beings succumbed to the basic needs of organic matter.

You awoke the second day, early in the morning according to the one of the droids. It protested as you ripped away the cords and monitors, but you sent the offending machine flying into the wall before walking out of the medical bay. You felt all senses returning to you as you walked down the familiar halls, stalking towards the final replenishment you needed.

He was inside, waiting as patiently as he could. He had felt you awaken, the strength of the bond snapping to shape immediately with your heartened state. The door to your quarters hissed open and you wasted no time entering.

Kylo was standing between the bed and washroom, still dripping from the routine shower he took after training all morning. He held his towel in one hand as you caught him drying his soaked hair, the rest of him nude and glistening. He smirked at the disheveled sight of you.

“She lives,” he taunted, tossing the towel carelessly to the edge of the bed, standing tall and proud before you.

You cocked your head and allowed your eyes to roam freely over what was yours, pausing at the most delicious parts. Licking your lips, you brought your eyes back to meet his.

“She’s hungry,” you hummed back, returning the smirk as you watched his member twitch from just two uttered words, “reseal the bond and finish healing me.”

The command was harsher than you meant it, but you knew he felt it too. Whatever the sand rat had done let a draft into the warmth of the bond you and Kylo had. The chill was uncomfortable and left an echo that made your skin itch. Kylo’s smirk fell and he reached out, tugging you forward with the Force until your dry chest was pressed to his wet one.

“The medical droids wouldn’t let me fuck you in the medical bay,” he growled, tearing at the now wet top that clung to you, “the medicine they had you on made you sleep constantly,” your pants were quickly removed as well.

“They kept muttering some nonsense about food and wa-ah!” you gasped and lost the words in your throat as Kylo sank swiftly to his knees and covered your cunt with his mouth, his tongue slipping between your folds with ease.

You looked down at him with parted lips, his gaze intense as he moved his tongue expertly across your bud. You bucked and tugged at his hair, back arching as his massive hand slid up the swell of your ass to support your lower back. He pressed you further into him, using his free hand to hike your leg over his shoulder as he devoured you. The warmth of his mouth and the flicks of his tongue readied you quickly, your hips grinding against his face much too quickly than you would have liked.

No, you needed him. _All_ of him. _Now_.

Tugging harshly with the handfuls of hair to kept in your grasp, you brought him upwards to you.

“Kylo,” was all you could growl before his wet mouth covered yours.

The taste of your arousal on his tongue drove you mad, and you lapped back feverishly into his mouth. You pushed onto his chest to drive him backwards, tongues battling for dominance in a familiar dance. His knees hit the bed and you shoved him down before climbing on top, refusing to let your mouths part for more than a second. You grasped his erect length between your bodies and stroked gingerly, running your thumb along the swell of the head. He moaned into your mouth and bucked his hips, hands running along your waist and tugging you forward.

You complied and straddled him quickly, mouths never parting as you drank each other in, starved and desperate. Gripping him firmly, you sank slowly down onto his length, breaking the kiss to gasp loudly. The stretch of his size was a welcomed feeling, allowing you to feel full as you sat on top of him. Bracing your hands on his chest, you began to ride him, cursing and praising the man beneath you.

You felt the bond tighten like the coil in your groin, pushing out the doubt the sand rat had placed in your mind. Kylo attempted to move upwards and flip you over, but you pushed down with aggressive strength onto his chest, growling loudly as you rode him harder. He moaned and panted, eyes wide and impressed as you took control, pulling pleasure and bliss from your bodies with each movement.

“You are _mine_ ,” you panted, nails raking across his broad chest as you stared him down, shifting so that he hit that delicious spot in your over and over again.

“And you are mine,” he reminded in kind, large hands digging into your hips as he drilled himself into you, giving you the stability to lean and throw your head backwards.

“Fuck Ben, yes, please, I-I need you. I need this – _fuck_!”

Your orgasm was fast approaching as your brought one hand to rub tight circles on your swollen clit, the raw pleasure making you gasp and shiver. Kylo was looking at you in awe, eyes taking in every inch of the goddess that was claiming him. Your tits bounced with each buck of your hips, a heat creeping along your flushed skin.

“Gods, I’m not going to last much longer, you are absolutely divine,” he panted in warning, his hips thrusting even harder than before.

You looked down at him, the disheveled sight making you clench hard around his length before you tipped over the edge, your climax hitting hard. You screamed and shook on top of him, feeling his hips stall beneath you as he buried himself and cried out your name. The Force bond allowed you both to feel the other’s pleasure melt into one, the bliss momentarily blinding you as you collapsed on top his sturdy chest.

Panting, exhausted, and satiated, you clung to him for life. The residual waves of pleasure caused you to twitch now and again, drawing hisses from your mouth. Kylo slipped gently from inside you and pulled you to his side, claiming your mouth with his in delicious affirmation.

As you laid in bed with him, tangled in security and power, you knew you would have to tell him about the girl. For despite your best efforts, the smallest crack still remained in the bond, its chill stealing your momentary comfort in Kylo’s arms.

But now was not the time to worry about the sand rat’s words.

A plan was already setting in motion.


End file.
